I was literally told constantly growing up that finding something relatable and sharing is part of normal conversation, but then people would be offended if I did and tell me I’m “too quiet” if I didn’t. Like wtf do yall want, WHAT DO I DO, GAAAHHHH . . .
. . . fuck it, I’ll just talk about trains the whole time
As someone on the spectrum the way I’ve learned to deal with this is basically:
A) first reacting empathically (“Oh god that sounds horrible”, “Are you alright?” etc.)
B) then bringing up relating things, but trying to always turn the topic back in the end so they can continue about their thing (“Yeah I once hurt my ankle, that wasn’t fun. Your arm must hurt so much”)
C) trying to downplay the relating story a bit if possible is usually good, to make sure you’re signaling that you’re not trying to steal the spotlight (“It was hard enough just hopping around for months, I can only imagine how difficult it’s to do stuff with only one arm”)
D) if nothing else seems to work, people tend to like being asked questions about them and the thing (“What did the doctor say?”, “How long do you think it’ll take to heal?”)
Here’s what you do, whatever you feel is right in the moment. Will some people hate it? Yes. Will some people love it? Yes.
You can’t please everyone and you wind up disappointing yourself.
One of my best friends, we interrupt each other’s stories all the time and that’s just the natural flow. Never snapped at her or vice versa or anything.
I have other friends that REALLY can’t handle that. So I gotta like, dial it back with those people specifically.
I will say that one thing you should try to keep in mind is that before you perhaps chime in is remember where you branched from and bringing it back to that.
Bees are also an excellent topic. Did you know there are bees that are nocturnal? Or that some use feces (not their own) to deter predation of their hive?
So, one that I don’t really get why it grosses people out, but female opossum can stuff a decent chunk of their own face into their pouch. Like, double over and just get up in there. They keep it fairly clean, and can retrieve dead babies(more babies than nipples, some just fail to develop), sometimes snacking on them.
The reality of “playing dead” can get people. I have watched crowds blanche as we broke the illusion of them just “falling over”. They do fall over often, but it’s accompanied by voiding their stomach. They look and smell diseased when they do it. Never had one actually do it on stage, our ambassadors were heavily worked with before ever doing a public appearance, but just being able to give a first hand explanation got some fun reactions.
On the topic of opossum shit, this one is getting well known, but can still catch people off guard: They do feces recovery, like many species! Just handfuls of their own shit, shoveled on in. They also prefer to use a waterway as a bathroom, so they sometimes dip their tails to act as a catch for the feces. They’re just… They’re covered in it. Yet they are surprisingly clean animals!
I think the key when trying to relate to someone is brevity. You want to signal “I understand what you’re saying because something similar happened to me” not “shut up, we’re talking about me now”. The former is more difficult to do the more words you use. At the very least you have to stop talking long enough to let the other person continue their story if they want to.
I was literally told constantly growing up that finding something relatable and sharing is part of normal conversation, but then people would be offended if I did and tell me I’m “too quiet” if I didn’t. Like wtf do yall want, WHAT DO I DO, GAAAHHHH . . .
. . . fuck it, I’ll just talk about trains the whole time
As someone on the spectrum the way I’ve learned to deal with this is basically: A) first reacting empathically (“Oh god that sounds horrible”, “Are you alright?” etc.) B) then bringing up relating things, but trying to always turn the topic back in the end so they can continue about their thing (“Yeah I once hurt my ankle, that wasn’t fun. Your arm must hurt so much”) C) trying to downplay the relating story a bit if possible is usually good, to make sure you’re signaling that you’re not trying to steal the spotlight (“It was hard enough just hopping around for months, I can only imagine how difficult it’s to do stuff with only one arm”) D) if nothing else seems to work, people tend to like being asked questions about them and the thing (“What did the doctor say?”, “How long do you think it’ll take to heal?”)
Here’s what you do, whatever you feel is right in the moment. Will some people hate it? Yes. Will some people love it? Yes.
You can’t please everyone and you wind up disappointing yourself.
One of my best friends, we interrupt each other’s stories all the time and that’s just the natural flow. Never snapped at her or vice versa or anything.
I have other friends that REALLY can’t handle that. So I gotta like, dial it back with those people specifically.
I will say that one thing you should try to keep in mind is that before you perhaps chime in is remember where you branched from and bringing it back to that.
Bees are also an excellent topic. Did you know there are bees that are nocturnal? Or that some use feces (not their own) to deter predation of their hive?
Opossum facts are a fun filter.
You can slowly get more and more gross, those who step away are weak and undeserving of your companionship.
You can’t just say that and not supply us with at least one gross opossum fact…
Sorry for being behind on replying.
So, one that I don’t really get why it grosses people out, but female opossum can stuff a decent chunk of their own face into their pouch. Like, double over and just get up in there. They keep it fairly clean, and can retrieve dead babies(more babies than nipples, some just fail to develop), sometimes snacking on them.
The reality of “playing dead” can get people. I have watched crowds blanche as we broke the illusion of them just “falling over”. They do fall over often, but it’s accompanied by voiding their stomach. They look and smell diseased when they do it. Never had one actually do it on stage, our ambassadors were heavily worked with before ever doing a public appearance, but just being able to give a first hand explanation got some fun reactions.
On the topic of opossum shit, this one is getting well known, but can still catch people off guard: They do feces recovery, like many species! Just handfuls of their own shit, shoveled on in. They also prefer to use a waterway as a bathroom, so they sometimes dip their tails to act as a catch for the feces. They’re just… They’re covered in it. Yet they are surprisingly clean animals!
I think the key when trying to relate to someone is brevity. You want to signal “I understand what you’re saying because something similar happened to me” not “shut up, we’re talking about me now”. The former is more difficult to do the more words you use. At the very least you have to stop talking long enough to let the other person continue their story if they want to.
But me only use few word, me no talk lot
Select one as appropriate.
That’s crazy!
“Why don’t you ever have anything to say about yourself?”
I’m cultivating an aura of mystique.
what’s your favourite random train fact?
I like trains . . .
But that’s not a fact about trains, that’s an opinion on trains >:(