What the fuck is wrong with me. I can watch something that doesn’t speak to me whether it is good or not, but the moment I start to like like it I just stop it and get afraid of continuing with it. For example my backlog is full of games that I know I will like but I never play because I am afraid of not properly enjoying them or understanding them.
Is this shit behavior ADHD, autism, OCD or a combination of them all? Do you have this issue as well? Sorry for the rambling but I am high and in despair right now, I can’t enjoy anything at all anymore (when I was a teen I didn’t have this issue, it appeared after a particularly hard semester in uni)
I’m in a similar situation and I have been for a long time. I used to get games at launch and tear right into them. Now, I’ll still buy them, but they’ll sit, wrapped, until I “get around to it” which doesn’t happen a lot.
Mentally, I’m in a tough space. I’m likely ADHD, both my mom and sibling are diagnosed with it. I grew up poor and did well in school so I was never evaluated for it. As an adult, I don’t know where to start if I even wanted to get help with it. I’ve got something else going on too. I’m a maladjusted perfectionist.
I’m still exploring the causes on my own, but I believe my reward response is messed up. I have two weird hangups, one is that if it’s a series of games, I feel like I have to play the entire series from the beginning. That’s often so daunting, I never start. The second is that I got bit by the “productivity grindset” bug. Even if I don’t want to, I feel like gaming is just me wasting time and that if I’m playing them, I need to be streaming and creating contact around it. Again, that’s daunting so I tend to avoid playing things in the first place.