Encourage your crabs to do some light stretching because I have a feeling they will be dancing soon

  • flan [they/them]
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    401 year ago

    I honestly cannot for the life of me understand why these fucks insist on holding onto power until their decrepit, ancient bodies begin failing one organ after another on live television. They are all incredibly rich because despite america somehow not being “corrupt” they make millions, tens of millions, and hundreds of millions of dollars while serving a lifetime making $200k per year. If I had a tenth of their wealth I would just fuck off and nobody would ever hear from me again.

    • It’s truly bizarre. I have to believe that they are true believers in their version of liberalism, it just doesn’t make sense otherwise. Like, if they were just cynical grifters they would check out early, but there are so many examples currently that it must be a deeper sickness

    • Mardoniush [she/her]
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      91 year ago

      One answer is alienation. Pre 1940 politicians would personally apprentice ideological successors. Later, party machines would ensure transfers of power to popular candidates with similar views that could continue the older member’s political projects, while the older member retired and became an elder statesperson controlling party strategy and acting as an advisor.

      But the Democrats and republicans have elided all political cohesion away, and candidates get in either through party stacking or via personal rhetoric.

      So there are no political projects or institutional ideological continuity, there’s only the institution, blowing whichever way the loudest faction of capital says.

      Thus ossification and gerontocracy as senior party members need to stay on because their machine will collapse if they don’t.

      You see this in a lot of other organisations as well. We all know of the Trot org with 4 80 year olds at the top, a bunch of students who will bail after uni at the bottom, and no long term junior cadre.

    • hotcouchguy [he/him]
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      71 year ago

      It’s not like he’s working an assembly line, all his actual work is done by staffers, who also take care of all his personal and medical needs: driving him around, making all his meals, and literally wiping his ass. He’s basically in free hospice care, probably a much better life than retiring would be.

    • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]
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      31 year ago

      My speculative theory is that it’s selection bias. Plenty of senators cash out and spend the rest of their lives with a cushy job on a board of directors at some oil company, it’s just the absolute sickos like McConnell who stay in it just for the power itself. We don’t notice all the corrupt politicians who just take the money and run.

  • TheModerateTankie [any]
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    371 year ago

    microsoft forced a security update while he was in the middle of a press conference and he needed rebooting

  • TheCaconym [any]
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    371 year ago

    Wednesday’s episode occurred when a reporter asked the Republican leader if he was planning to run for reelection in 2026.

    Dude probably heard “2026”, his memory hasn’t been working since the 90s so he must have freaked out

    “Holy shit I’ve time traveled”

  • VernetheJules [they/them]
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    1 year ago

    How about a show of unity and bipartisanship where him and feinstein battle to the death and both die in the process

  • Des [she/her, they/them]
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    261 year ago

    i hope each time he comes back from the full brain reboot he is scared and completely loses his sense of self. a little taste of the painful death that i hope awaits him

    • Vingst [he/him]
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      1 year ago

      They are a built up brand. A vessel. The locus of a network of power.

      Replacing them is like removing a kidney.

    • Freeanotherday [he/him, they/them]
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      181 year ago

      I have no idea if it’s true but libs are saying the corpes of Feinstein can’t retire because the corpse of Mitch will block replacing her on committees.

      What is absolutely the funniest shit for all kinds of reasons

    • Mindfury [he/him]
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      151 year ago

      have the staffers finally concocted their own sub-grift by realising they lose their jobs too if the representative steps down, so they’re literally propping the old fucks upright and enslaving them?

    • mayo_cider [he/him]
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      51 year ago

      It’s too much work for CIA to produce new kompromat especially after they killed off most of their field agents with shitty opsec