100% Green Flag. She was checking you for red flags and aware of her surroundings.
Did you panic? Ask someone else? Freak out and leave? Pick your nose? Exhibit signs of being nuts? No? You figured it out and were not weird? Great. Then she doesn’t need to duck out before you find the place. OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
Edit: Some of y’all need to talk to a woman some time.
OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
Why? It’s just usual micro blogging. There’s no critique, just a mention of what happened, perhaps just to share something funny. You just write things you found worthy of mentioning, post them, and see if anyone else finds it interesting.
One person is aware of their surroundings and the actions of someone else that is on a date with them. They openly share that with the other person, showing open communication and transparency.
The other person whines about it online in an echo chamber.
Microblogging it is seeking judgement and not being sure what judgement to set it up with will play better. Which is why, if this is even real, the OP is dog water.
OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
The fuck is wrong with people. Being safe is good, testing people is manipulative and does not make anyone safer. It’s antisocial behavior, it is not a virtue
By not flagging them down. You’re assigning intentionality to this by your framing… There’s no world where this is a positive thing, just a neutral or bad one.
Is this a cute little misunderstanding, entirely appropriate to post online? Or did she do something antisocial intentionally, therefore making it impolite to share?
And you’re assuming this was possible, as if most bars and restaurants don’t have very large windows facing the street. It’s far more likely she sat in the place and saw this guy walking back and forth, and thought “C’mon, buddy, you can do it…” because if he walked away she couldn’t make it outside in time to catch him. I literally did this with someone last night meeting people at a bar, they parked so close they walked past the place and back before anyone could text them the were going the wrong way. There was zero way to flag them down.
We can imagine a million physical scenarios and we have incomplete information. So it’s up to OP to know if it was possible for her to flag him down and didn’t, or not. But at some level she is not his mommy and not his friend. A stranger does not have a duty to chase someone down to help them when they’re both meeting to look for a partner. You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.
And if she couldn’t flag him down, how is this not just a cute little story?
This is only something that shouldn’t be shared if she did something antisocial
You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.
You’re actually insane. That’s not at all what a toxic relationship is, and any decent person would help a complete stranger with minor problems because we live in a society
100% Green Flag. She was checking you for red flags and aware of her surroundings.
Did you panic? Ask someone else? Freak out and leave? Pick your nose? Exhibit signs of being nuts? No? You figured it out and were not weird? Great. Then she doesn’t need to duck out before you find the place. OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
Edit: Some of y’all need to talk to a woman some time.
Why? It’s just usual micro blogging. There’s no critique, just a mention of what happened, perhaps just to share something funny. You just write things you found worthy of mentioning, post them, and see if anyone else finds it interesting.
Seriously, I even took it as a bit of bragging.
One person is aware of their surroundings and the actions of someone else that is on a date with them. They openly share that with the other person, showing open communication and transparency.
The other person whines about it online in an echo chamber.
Microblogging it is seeking judgement and not being sure what judgement to set it up with will play better. Which is why, if this is even real, the OP is dog water.
This is like a parody of /r/relationshipadvice or something
It’s 100% something my spouse would do and has done, who does a lot of work supporting women protecting themselves.
But sure, she’s the asshole. My bad.
Well you know her better than I do
Speaking of red flags…
The fuck is wrong with people. Being safe is good, testing people is manipulative and does not make anyone safer. It’s antisocial behavior, it is not a virtue
How did this woman "test’ someone by just seeing them from a distance? How were they manipulated?
By not flagging them down. You’re assigning intentionality to this by your framing… There’s no world where this is a positive thing, just a neutral or bad one.
Is this a cute little misunderstanding, entirely appropriate to post online? Or did she do something antisocial intentionally, therefore making it impolite to share?
And you’re assuming this was possible, as if most bars and restaurants don’t have very large windows facing the street. It’s far more likely she sat in the place and saw this guy walking back and forth, and thought “C’mon, buddy, you can do it…” because if he walked away she couldn’t make it outside in time to catch him. I literally did this with someone last night meeting people at a bar, they parked so close they walked past the place and back before anyone could text them the were going the wrong way. There was zero way to flag them down.
We can imagine a million physical scenarios and we have incomplete information. So it’s up to OP to know if it was possible for her to flag him down and didn’t, or not. But at some level she is not his mommy and not his friend. A stranger does not have a duty to chase someone down to help them when they’re both meeting to look for a partner. You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.
And if she couldn’t flag him down, how is this not just a cute little story?
This is only something that shouldn’t be shared if she did something antisocial
You’re actually insane. That’s not at all what a toxic relationship is, and any decent person would help a complete stranger with minor problems because we live in a society
You think watching someone through a window is manipulative?
Testing people like, “i put them in a shitty situation like pretended to cheat on them and see how they reacted” is shitty and manipulative.
Observing someone and how they process a situation is not manipulative.
I agree. The person above was glorifying doing exactly that though
This is throwing one bad take on top of another.