Legit, I like her immediately. She’s interesting. Enjoy, she may be a keeper!
- “Has trouble finding things” hmmm.
- “Persistent”
I once saw a professor on my way to his class and, since I really abhor small talk, I kept walking just far back enough for him to not notice me until we got to the classroom where he just kept walking straight ahead. I went in and 15 minutes later he arrived saying “I couldn’t find the classroom”. No, it wasn’t the first class.
I would say this is definitely not a red flag.
But I’m also not saying it’s green. Probably more green than anything… Maybe a nice seafoam.
The Good is that she wasn’t angry and was being patient. Letting you figure it out. The not great but not bad part of this is that she did nothing to help.
I would have just stepped outside for “some fresh air” and wait for the person to notice me standing next to the entrance. That way I’m helping them, but only a little, they still have to find me. Finding me may be easier than finding the establishment that we agreed to meet at.
The key here is to not go out and call them over. Let them find you. If you call them, it’s kinda difficult to walk the line of, “oh hey, I’m over here” and not cross over into “get over here stupid. I had to come get you because you’re to dumb to find things yourself”… Best play is just to make yourself more obvious.
I wouldn’t say this is a green flag as it is, but it’s definitely not a red one.
The not great but not bad part of this is that she did nothing to help.
She gets this opportunity to study his thinking from this perspective ONCE. Let her enjoy, and if she still likes him, and he likes her, that was an awesome move!
Coming back to edit… if I’m the lost dude, and she comes out to grab me, that’s embarrassing. Fuck that. Everything that happened was good. It’s a green flag now.
It’s a red flag on the third date.
Hehehe I’m way too autistic for this type of internal monologue.
Hey fren wassup!
I think a second date would be needed at least before claiming red or green flag. She sounds interesting, but I have concerns that it could get bad quick…
that’s a keeper. humour, and no misplaced respect.
One time I was meeting someone for a second date. I got a seat at a table outside. There’s a fence and a gate between that area and the sidewalk.
I see her walk by. She sees me. She waves. She keeps walking and is gone.
I’m have so many questions. I text her.
Turns out she didn’t know there was a gate in the fence there and thought you had to go like around the long way, but for solid moment I thought she was like aggressively standing me up.
We dated for a few years and are still friends.
If I were her, I’d totally try to look super-cool and hop over the fence. This would probably end with me hurting myself and/or looking like an idiot.
Then you get sympathy and a story to tell at parties. I see no downside.
Sounds like your date didn’t pan out, bud.
Green flag, letting you make your own mistakes without getting mad
Green flag. This is science girlfriend behavior
(in George Takei’s voice) Oh, my!
I’m universe, that would be Ricardio’s voice
How on earth did we make this a three way???
Green flag, she’s down for social experiments
Sadist, red flag imho.
But like, that red flag looks hella fun… I wonder if they have a leash :3
Mmm…I mean no! Bad!
Hmmmm… maybe it was neither a red flag nor a green flag. Maybe it was just scientific curiosity. Mouse in a maze type of thing haha
Makes it a green flag to me tbh
Maybe we’re all a little flag fatigued, and we don’t need to analyze every behavior of a bunch of jumped up apes on a scorecard of correct and incorrect answers for every decision they make?
I get that we are all hyper-aware of just how bad it can get if we don’t pay attention to warning signs in 2025, but can’t someone do something a little quirky without it being an indicator of virtue or flaw?
Hmm, nuance to social interaction, green flag!
Life of brian: you’re all individuals. ~“not me”~
Would it be better to just say, do you like it or don’t like it? Cause I like a little quirky and no, a single post from a stranger doesn’t make us all into world renowned psychoanalysts.
But judgement and assumption are some of our favorite hobbies, we need them to understand the world and feel safe. How would my life be interesting to anyone if I didn’t invent the story!?
That’s a both flags if I ever heard one
a brown flag
Yellow?
Chartreuse?
Shart ruse
Enjoyed watching me suffer -> Definitely into anal
But there’s a caveat 🌚
manner banner
100% Green Flag. She was checking you for red flags and aware of her surroundings.
Did you panic? Ask someone else? Freak out and leave? Pick your nose? Exhibit signs of being nuts? No? You figured it out and were not weird? Great. Then she doesn’t need to duck out before you find the place. OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
Edit: Some of y’all need to talk to a woman some time.
OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
Why? It’s just usual micro blogging. There’s no critique, just a mention of what happened, perhaps just to share something funny. You just write things you found worthy of mentioning, post them, and see if anyone else finds it interesting.
Seriously, I even took it as a bit of bragging.
One person is aware of their surroundings and the actions of someone else that is on a date with them. They openly share that with the other person, showing open communication and transparency.
The other person whines about it online in an echo chamber.
Microblogging it is seeking judgement and not being sure what judgement to set it up with will play better. Which is why, if this is even real, the OP is dog water.
This is like a parody of /r/relationshipadvice or something
It’s 100% something my spouse would do and has done, who does a lot of work supporting women protecting themselves.
But sure, she’s the asshole. My bad.
Well you know her better than I do
Speaking of red flags…
OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.
The fuck is wrong with people. Being safe is good, testing people is manipulative and does not make anyone safer. It’s antisocial behavior, it is not a virtue
testing people is manipulative
You think watching someone through a window is manipulative?
Testing people like, “i put them in a shitty situation like pretended to cheat on them and see how they reacted” is shitty and manipulative.
Observing someone and how they process a situation is not manipulative.
I agree. The person above was glorifying doing exactly that though
How did this woman "test’ someone by just seeing them from a distance? How were they manipulated?
By not flagging them down. You’re assigning intentionality to this by your framing… There’s no world where this is a positive thing, just a neutral or bad one.
Is this a cute little misunderstanding, entirely appropriate to post online? Or did she do something antisocial intentionally, therefore making it impolite to share?
By not flagging them down.
And you’re assuming this was possible, as if most bars and restaurants don’t have very large windows facing the street. It’s far more likely she sat in the place and saw this guy walking back and forth, and thought “C’mon, buddy, you can do it…” because if he walked away she couldn’t make it outside in time to catch him. I literally did this with someone last night meeting people at a bar, they parked so close they walked past the place and back before anyone could text them the were going the wrong way. There was zero way to flag them down.
We can imagine a million physical scenarios and we have incomplete information. So it’s up to OP to know if it was possible for her to flag him down and didn’t, or not. But at some level she is not his mommy and not his friend. A stranger does not have a duty to chase someone down to help them when they’re both meeting to look for a partner. You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.
And if she couldn’t flag him down, how is this not just a cute little story?
This is only something that shouldn’t be shared if she did something antisocial
You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.
You’re actually insane. That’s not at all what a toxic relationship is, and any decent person would help a complete stranger with minor problems because we live in a society
You’re actually insane.
lol, ok, buddy. End of conversation.
Yeah, no shit. You actually need to talk to someone… I’m not joking or taking a cheap shot at you. I’m not being sarcastic, this is not about the argument
You’ve expressed views that are violently antisocial. Please open up to someone
This is throwing one bad take on top of another.
