I hate feeling pressured into stereotypes just to prove my gayness.
If this whole thing is about living genuinely why should I have to read books that define who I am to me? Why can’t I just be me the way I like to be?
I’ve always felt trapped, like I’m too straight for the gay kids but too gay for the straight kids.
The two main reasons it took me decades to come out were homophobic neighbors and feeling like I wasn’t gay enough because I wasn’t interested in all the stereotypical gay hobbies/interests.
Side note. I didn’t think you were pressuring me or being negative. Your line “read up on queer theory” reminded me of some of the toxic interactions I had so I felt the need to vent.
Yeah it reeks of being told in the 2010s “check your privilege”. While it’s not entirely wrong, it’s not entirely right, either, and is incredibly hostile. Everybody’s right.
I saw a video on TT the other day of a guy parodying Randy Newman with a made up song “hurt people hurt people”. It was surprisingly good, both funny and good, but surprisingly deep and true and wise and all that.
As I get older, I think I’m starting to decipher who to listen to, and I think it largely comes down to malice. Like, if the concept of tone policing were to be taken seriously, it would need to meet those with different views and experiences where they’re at.
I, like you, grew up very closeted. While not exactly hostile to queer people, my guilt of unintentionally hurting people stays with me as a scar, as wisdom. I don’t think much in this world is totally concrete, but let me tell you and anybody who reads this: regardless of what you think logic implies or how logic dictates, emotions are real and are often separate and stand very much on their own (not always, but often). Coming at somebody who is simply ignorant who hurts you with malice isn’t okay. But also, as I get older, willful ignorance is starting to become an unforgivable sin. Maybe even one of the only few real ones.
With that knowledge of judgement, then, you and I and anybody else, who may have grown up our privileges and lifestyles very much do have a duty to at least intellectually investigate if somebody says we are hurting them. To do otherwise is… quite exceptional, if realistically and unfortunately quite the opposite when it comes to most people.
That knowledge of morality and responsibility of ethics ethics is a code, though. Codes don’t always need to be followed, as willful negligence can sometimes be strategically good, like “putting your mask on, first”. But, be wary of slipping into willful ignorance, as that is a very dangerous line to court.
I’m sorry for the toxic interactions you’ve had. I’m absolutely not talking about stereotypes and appearances, and those that made you feel not gay enough are included in those needing to show up for their community.
Sorry I was in shit post mode instead of essay mode :3
I’m talking to the gays who eat at Chick-fil-A
I’m talking to the lesbian who told the bi girl to choose a side
I’m talking to the bi girl who calls herself a f*g hag while hitting on a trans girl
I’m talking to the trans people who fell into transmedicalism
And much more, but hopefully I’ve explained myself better.
Can one have a love/hate relationship with knowledge?
Like, I hate that I have to know all these things, but I love who I am in knowing things-in-general and these things you’ve said, as I know they make the world a better place for us all.
As I approach 40 and the world changes more and more underneath our feet and before our very eyes, I find myself burdened with knowledge. Knowledge that hurts to have. Knowledge that I’m different, knowledge of how the world works, knowledge of human behavior, and the knowledge of my and all of our limitations. Knowledge that hurts to have.
I hate feeling pressured into stereotypes just to prove my gayness.
If this whole thing is about living genuinely why should I have to read books that define who I am to me? Why can’t I just be me the way I like to be?
I’ve always felt trapped, like I’m too straight for the gay kids but too gay for the straight kids.
The two main reasons it took me decades to come out were homophobic neighbors and feeling like I wasn’t gay enough because I wasn’t interested in all the stereotypical gay hobbies/interests.
Side note. I didn’t think you were pressuring me or being negative. Your line “read up on queer theory” reminded me of some of the toxic interactions I had so I felt the need to vent.
Yeah it reeks of being told in the 2010s “check your privilege”. While it’s not entirely wrong, it’s not entirely right, either, and is incredibly hostile. Everybody’s right.
I saw a video on TT the other day of a guy parodying Randy Newman with a made up song “hurt people hurt people”. It was surprisingly good, both funny and good, but surprisingly deep and true and wise and all that.
As I get older, I think I’m starting to decipher who to listen to, and I think it largely comes down to malice. Like, if the concept of tone policing were to be taken seriously, it would need to meet those with different views and experiences where they’re at.
I, like you, grew up very closeted. While not exactly hostile to queer people, my guilt of unintentionally hurting people stays with me as a scar, as wisdom. I don’t think much in this world is totally concrete, but let me tell you and anybody who reads this: regardless of what you think logic implies or how logic dictates, emotions are real and are often separate and stand very much on their own (not always, but often). Coming at somebody who is simply ignorant who hurts you with malice isn’t okay. But also, as I get older, willful ignorance is starting to become an unforgivable sin. Maybe even one of the only few real ones.
With that knowledge of judgement, then, you and I and anybody else, who may have grown up our privileges and lifestyles very much do have a duty to at least intellectually investigate if somebody says we are hurting them. To do otherwise is… quite exceptional, if realistically and unfortunately quite the opposite when it comes to most people.
That knowledge of morality and responsibility of ethics ethics is a code, though. Codes don’t always need to be followed, as willful negligence can sometimes be strategically good, like “putting your mask on, first”. But, be wary of slipping into willful ignorance, as that is a very dangerous line to court.
I’m sorry for the toxic interactions you’ve had. I’m absolutely not talking about stereotypes and appearances, and those that made you feel not gay enough are included in those needing to show up for their community.
Sorry I was in shit post mode instead of essay mode :3
I’m talking to the gays who eat at Chick-fil-A
I’m talking to the lesbian who told the bi girl to choose a side
I’m talking to the bi girl who calls herself a f*g hag while hitting on a trans girl
I’m talking to the trans people who fell into transmedicalism
And much more, but hopefully I’ve explained myself better.
I gotcha. No need to be sorry, no offense was taken
Can one have a love/hate relationship with knowledge?
Like, I hate that I have to know all these things, but I love who I am in knowing things-in-general and these things you’ve said, as I know they make the world a better place for us all.
As I approach 40 and the world changes more and more underneath our feet and before our very eyes, I find myself burdened with knowledge. Knowledge that hurts to have. Knowledge that I’m different, knowledge of how the world works, knowledge of human behavior, and the knowledge of my and all of our limitations. Knowledge that hurts to have.