If a currency has been debased to the point that its lowest denomination has been determined worthless, that’s not a coinage problem; it’s a fiscal-policy problem. Shave off two zeros and bring back the quarter-cent, and … problem solved (though those 9 mills on gas prices would actually mean something again).

But that would make Musk’s goal of being the first trillionaire out of reach, so let’s kill the penny ahead of addressing long-festering problems with the financial system.