Yeah, I probably make it obvious from how I write about it that I’ve been stuck in that situation before, where my partner takes me completely for granted to the point that, at least for a while, what dumping me meant was not that they lose anything but that they have me on hand whenever they feel like it (such as when someone they’re actually into treats them poorly and they have no one else who is willing to listen to them, or maybe they just want to fuck around with me) and I don’t exist otherwise. In a perverse way, dumping me was like a lifestyle upgrade because they didn’t need to give me any thought but I was still just as willing to do anything for them, and they actively counted on that being true. While it was cruel of them, fundamentally it still only happened because I didn’t have a spine and didn’t set firm boundaries for my own sake because I was so desperate.

I’m glad that you had the lucidity to ask what you did. That took me way too long to develop.