I don’t know what part of my boundary was equivocal.
Really, all I see it as is that they are invalidating queerness so much that they think a boundary based on queerness is totally valid for them to ignore.
I don’t even know what to do.
cw: sa/mental health
they have a r*pist mentality, and honestly, the helplessness I feel comes so close that being in this situation reminds me of how distressed I felt during my SA. It honestly led me to tears right now. I hate how trauma from that literally had to be reignited just because my grandparents can’t respect boundaries.
Oddly enough, they tried to use one of my uncles as a proxy a few days ago. They did this to ask me if I want Christmas lunch with them. I told them “No,” but they still came. This is undoubtedly a r*pist mentality.
Were restraining orders (or orders of protection etc.) easily available in your area?
If not, other options might include security cameras or peepholes on the front door. Some people ask who it is through the door too. These are the lower cost options I’m thinking of, higher cost involve moving and name changes with white page delisting and such.
At some point their behavior has to constitute harassment/stalking I imagine, I just don’t know what that point is for different regions.
Edit:
cw: sa/mental health
For what it’s worth you’re absolutely right that they have an SA mindset. I remember reading years ago a paper saying that the number one predictor of SA was entitlement, and their behavior reeks of entitlement.
I don’t know what the right answer is for you but I hope there’s a way to get your boundaries enforced at no further cost to yourself ✊️
Also some DV shelters might have resources and experts who might be able to help. This could potentially fall under their purview as well given the lengths this has gone.