Since I came out to myself (and a few others), it’s been a mixed bag, leaning towards better than not.

I ugly cried twice, maybe for the first times in my life, first while rewatching GitS SAC, ep2. That might have been the most obvious trans allegory that totally flew by me when I first watched it in childhood. Then I cried just as hard when I started playing Celeste yesterday, when right at the beginning, the dialog from level 1 said something like “just breathe, you got this” (also I suck at platformers).

I was able to talk to one cis-female friend over online DMs about it. I had met her irl once, and she’s super nice and supportive. I’m looking forward to bonding with her more over girly things :3

Weight loss has somehow become effortless for me. I had been struggling with my mental health for about a year, thinking it was just ADHD, and coping with food sometimes. But now it’s all super lucid and I don’t feel the urge to just eat when I’m bored.

Voice training sucks. Picking a new name is hard.

Occasionally I have doubts since my guy brain is still dominant. I wrote down all the really obvious reasons to myself as notes, and that helps a bit. It’s just one of those things where intellectually I know I must be trans, but emotionally I’m not really there yet.

I have my first appointment at a local clinic at the end of this upcoming week, and I’m really excited.