This isn’t a something-just-happened screed; rather, I’m recognizing a pattern in past relationships.
And it has been in both directions. I’d posit from my rocking chair that this is a constant problem: You assist someone in a fundamental life change, but this inherently means your balance has changed.
I’m not saying there’s sudden hatred or anything, but when you make a personal breakthrough because of someone else, you’re often at least temporarily aloof.
In these situations, there is always an underlying teacher/student dynamic. In my experience, though, you don’t see it happening. I never realized it was happening to me, and I basically told myself “well, fuck, someone has to help out.”
And as such, you end up symbiotic for a sole purpose. Many friendships in life are like this, but it’s a bit different when sex comes to town.
OK, I kinda lied at the top. I’m trying to convince myself not to ask my ex to let me crash at her place during a heat wave now that I’ve been made (financially) whole from a theft.
Sounds like maybe you should sleep on it. I think if you are feeling a lot of intense things in a relationship, it increases the likelihood of crashing out.


