Still needs a bidet.
PLANT SOME FUCKING TREES
Lawns are specifically descended from the empty fields surrounding a castle’s walls. The idea was to keep a large area clear of any concealment or cover so attackers would be highly visible from a long distance, and could easily be targeted by massed archers from the top of the walls.
So this is sort of a historical architectural ouroboros of a suburban home.
Or at least put a moat in
Over my dead bodyBut then how can the peasants see this eyesore up close?
That just lets the barbarians sneak up on my house without being shot from the parapet. You suck at castle design.
It’s giving mini golf course.
Where are the murder holes? Nobody is going to survive a siege with those big ass open windows and embrasures.
Under socialism everyone will be able to build their house in the style of a medieval castle if they want to
I sure as hell would. Imagine repurposing all the the ugliest ass mcmansions as multifamily/multigenerational households into mock castles. Or maybe your suburban city hall gets made up to look like a castle while we gradually redevelop all the shitty suburbs of low rise single family units into medium density olde English style mixed use buildings and rewind the lawns into food forests.
Bring back this shit
under socialism, everyone would have the free time to tinker in the upper storey of their half-timbered house. anyone could be a tailor or alewife or carpenter or even a carpenter-cuckolding astrology student. abolish isolated and alienated man-cave hobbies, return to the myriad trades (but don’t return to guilds, everyone is free to learn anything)
Yes and no sumptuary laws, those are no fun
give me the only thing germans ever got right: streets of half-timbered workhouses
Whats wrong with Backsteinexpressionismus?
Or Weserrenaissance?
Or Socialist Realism?
I know it’s not G*rman achievements but labor’s, but workers in central Europe built more quality architecture than just half timbered houses.
nah those all rock actually
i just wanted to bully g*rmans
Always valid
Staring down from my parapet at my dogs digging through the neighbors trash
your pair of pets viewed from the parapet
Phfft what is this amateur hour bullshit, this duke hath put his keep right ‘pon his entry way. Surely I’d have placed mine own at a defensible rear or at least the center of the manor. Verily, this bozo will be getting his butt SACKED this Summer once I call forth my bannermen and they muster their levies. We’ll not even have to deal with the rest of the households’ defenders to isolate his redoubt. The fool, ha!
Groverburg
I wonder what predictions did he have for the war on Iran
The worst part is the lawn, could have a nice garden filled with native plants that requires way less water and way less maintenance and looks better instead.
You mean “The only bad choice”, surely?
the impulse shopping of architecture
On second thoughts, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place
Fortifications can take a long time to build. This is why you often see a mix of square and round towers on the same castle. A circular tower on a prairie revival rambler isn’t too bad.
I once saw wainscoting on an antebellum. gufah I hope they enjoy the neighborhood, because their resale will never offer a return.
tear out everything except the pavers and the dogs. separate the lumber and masonry into two piles, toss everything else.
start over.
Maybe this is just a start of a larger project wherein they build facades to match for the rest of the house. That would be pretty dope ngl.
A house I would have on animal crossing
