Work is drudgery. Working fast food even more so. This is a little bit of novelty in an otherwise monotonous day… I’d probably do the “challenge” regardless of the tip just to have something different.

There’s the chuckle I was hoping for

This is quite a common occurrence for regulars who order delivery like pizzas often enough for the staff to take notice and even get on a first name basis with the delivery driver. If they expect an order for a large mushroom and sausage to come in every Friday at 7pm sharp and it’s not there, someone usually checks on them just to make sure they are okay.

I mean, obviously fake and extremely gay, but there’s some minor mental gymnastics that could make it work.

First, we know that anon is one of those assholes that thinks paying big tips to wage slaves means that the kind of fuckery he’s doing is okay. We also know he’s the sort to brag about it, since the post exists.

Which also means that he would be the sort to brag about it to coworkers.

Now the gymnastics. If said coworkers didn’t hear that kind of stupidity and reject the moron based on that, and if he also said where he was ordering from, there’s a chance one or more coworkers might think that ordering his favorite pizza would not only be a good idea, but order it from the same place he does, and be fool enough to think the workers there would not be throwing a party that the dick was out of their hair for a while.

Now, since coworkers were aware of the room number, we also have to assume that there was a reason for that. The obvious one is that any asshole pulling that crap likely had nobody in their life close enough to either tell them they were being a prick, or serve as emergency contact, so he listed his employer or coworkers.

There could have been a card for the business he works at in his wallet, and the hospital reached out to see if theyhad an emergency contact for him. Or, a well meaning family member called his employer and notified them.

Mind you, all of this is just as fake as anon.

However, the one realistic part is a bunch of folks hearing that a regular had trouble sending a nice card. I’ve seen that happen a lot over the years

Anon has them listed as emergency contacts for quick access

Thanks to the unlikely union of healthcare and fastfood joint workers as two sides of the same machine.

But realistically:

No orders on friday.

Check into hospitals if he finally got it from eating Pizza Hut special ™.

Call him uncle Sammy, say he is demented and weird about american shenanigans and tips everyone uncontrollably.

They got me the guy.

Grown men cried

What’s it called then?

Deep dish pizza hut pizza, chilled and then reheated in an oven, is so good. All that grease crisps up the outside of the crust, it’s amazing. Not good fresh, only reheated.

And if you think of it as cost per calorie, not a bad deal, one slice probably enough calories for a whole day.