If bedbugs get involved I swear my last brain cell is going to be sucked dry and I can’t guarantee for anything. This is slightly different from Kafka by the way, as I am gradually turning into several tiny bugs by ways of being consumed, not one giant bug by metamorphosis.

One might ask, how did the commenter get into this situation? Are they a filthy peasant? Did they get infested through circumstances out of their control? Yes and also yes. I really hope the nasty chemicals I ordered arrive fast and are efficient (both has failed last week, so wish me luck this time).

Also, it is entirely possible that the worst (or best) has already happened and the bugs are writing this comment.