I’m someone who goes by Ze/Zir pronouns. I’ve done so for years. I originally went by they/them pronouns but I didn’t like them much and they just don’t feel right for me. When I discovered neopronouns they just felt right. Unfortunately I haven’t had much luck getting people to refer to me by my preferred pronouns.
Even here on Lemmy lots of people still refer to me by they/them or worse she/her. It feels really bad. Does anyone else on here struggle with this?
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It’s not new. It’s been a thing for thousands of years. The reason it seems new now is because a bunch of assholes repressed it with violence. Some of us had our identities repressed with violence when we were young, and some of us are still in situations like that. If someone reacts badly to being misgendered, instead of assuming they’re some kind of bad example to be avoided, try to understand where they’re coming from and why what seems like a silly little accident on your part can at time be hurtful to others. That’s not to say there won’t be some real immature people or outright bad actors, but a little understanding can go a long way.
You already use them. You use them all the time and don’t even think about it. It’s not that complicated. It’s literally elementary school stuff. If you’re genuine then people will notice and great allowance can be made for mistakes… but sometimes the reasons people serve up for why they keep getting it wrong start to sound less like apology and more like justification. Try not to fall into that trap.
"but since this is kinda new… " I was referring to custom pronouns.
"Pronouns essentially make… " I was also referring to custom pronouns.
Which is what this post is about.
Do you have any idea how rare those even are, let alone how rare it is to find someone who uses them who’d jump down your throat if you got it mixed up the first time? Who in your life has put you on the spot about that? What community has excommunicated you for this? Ae you just making up scenarios in your head to get mad about?