Hey Lemmy!
I’m a dad to a two year old boy. He’s very energetic and needs quite a bit of supervision. Other than that I couldn’t wish for a better son. I’d like to preface my actual question with saying I want to be a parent and I wouldn’t change that given the possibility.
The question is, does it get any easier? I have been stuck in a loop of wake up, take care of breakfast and other preparations, go to work, go back to parenting and maybe two hours of rest after the kid falls asleep. It feels like I don’t rest enough. I will however add that I’ve struggled with depression for the better part of a decade, I’m still pretty heavily medicated and in therapy. I’m much better than I was a few years ago, but the feeling of tiredness and lack of strength to be the best parent I can is at times getting the better of me.
I’m fully aware I put myself in this situation and I’m not sure I’d be happier with no kids. I guess I’m just looking for other people’s stories of when they were in similar situations or simply some words of encouragement.
Thanks.
Yes. Two & three year olds are blisteringly cute, but take so much attention, you are right.
Around 7 is the age of reason, so that’s when it really eases, you can explain more and control less, and teenagers can be legit helpful. But even 3 years old is easier than 2 because they can speak better, so are not so frustrated.
I remember with my first, she was truly a terrible toddler, just so much will and energy, had tantrums. On more than one occasion I had to remove her from a store or other public place. Put her in gymnastics and all that energy got focused on sports, was a good thing eventually.
I had 4 and married into 5 more - one day you will be thinking it all went by so fast, it’s crazy. Hang on, you will make it. I won’t say it gets easy soon, but less exhausting soon. Do you have a partner? Can one of you do more of the morning work and the other the evening shift?
It’s a give and take situation, my partner is very tired as well, so if I want to rest, they risk getting overwhelmed and vice versa. We’re trying to find a balance, but it’s not easy.
Yeah that will improve but really, for now, one of you should get up early and one sleep in, wake the other one up as you are leaving for work, in the evening morning person go to bed & let evening person them handle putting the baby down to sleep. Even one more hour of sleep helps so much.
Also I never spooned food into any of them, nursed a couple years but didn’t give baby food just things they could eat themselves, pieces of food, until they were just eating food no nursing. Baths I often just took them in the shower with me when very small. Rolled up whole outfits, underwear, socks, everything and let them take one & dress themselves pretty early on. Streamline where you can, it doesn’t hurt them at all. If you can always include them when you cook and clean, they become helpful faster, I was not good at that. But remember they WANT to grow up, let him do as much as he can for himself. It won’t be much yet but just get in the habit.
Thanks, I really should set him up for being independent, should help him in the long run.
Is its financially feasible (or maybe barter with something else), to have a sitter just to give yourselves an evening or weekend afternoon off? Just a few hours where you’re not working and not being parents. Have a park or coffee date together.
It’s definitely something we’ve been working on with my partner, she has some separation issues, there aren’t many people that she trusts to leave with our son, it might get better when he’s older though.