TLDR: What is ADHD medication supposed to feel like? Is it supposed to feel like anything at all? Will someone with ADHD feel really gacked out/high? does it change based on food intake or other factors?
So I received an unofficial diagnosis from my AuDHD psychologist a while ago, and then my psychiatrist did a very short written assessment on me and determined a positive diagnosis. I really want to get a full assessment one day, but for now I was prescribed Focalin (dexmethylphenidate). I originally wanted it as a prn.
The first time I took it, I definitely felt “peppy”, needing to stand while gaming, needing to move around more frequently, generally more awake. I didn’t eat breakfast, and had coffee. My blood pressure was also very high. Within a couple of days I took it again, but being good and eating in the morning with no coffee. I couldn’t even tell if it was working. I may have taken it another time soon after and did not notice a difference, so I stopped taking it. I’ve been extremely fatigued and my executive dysfunction has been off the charts so I tried taking it again. Yesterday I didn’t eat right away, and I felt gacked. Tight jaw, jittery, like definitely felt like I was on stimulants. I felt like that today as well; I tried to eat a little something this morning but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. It kicked in during a client appointment, too. Jaw tight, jittery, making a ton of typing mistakes, my body feeling fuzzy.
So, is it something where you should be able to notice a difference when you take ADHD meds? I’m assuming that I felt it so intensely because I didn’t eat, but when I do it it literally doesn’t feel like anything has changed. I may also not even have ADHD at all and was misdiagnosed (I was informally dx’ed with ADHD, Autism and bipolar disorder).
The amount of habits and ability to manage stuff that comes with taking adhd is kind of ironic considering what having adhd is like.
I personally am hesitant to even try, late self-dx audhd who can’t really access even the diagnosis due to gender and the way neurodiversity is viewed for women. I know I embody the classic meme level audhd inattentive woman.
My child also didn’t have a great experience trying to fit in the neurotypical world with meds, I suppose this is a part of what made both of us go full in on communism. Having to suffer highs and lows and physical symptoms just to fit in the capitalist model of high performing citizens just sits wrong with me now.
But if there were less high stakes and more easily available options to try I am not saying it wouldn’t be nice to not burn out from everyday life. Just ended a 6 month work period and have now slept for a week straight and still eternally tired and down. I know why now, but it’s still not amazing. We can’t really choose to not take part either because we all need to eat and have housing.
What we did with my son was we got protein shakes and powders to have the easiest most accessible way to nutrients while he was medicated, it worked mostly (not always). It can get a bit expensive though, I know I struggled with buying those for every morning, but otherwise he would not eat at all, hates breakfast. In the end he decided to just be adhd and be supported in other ways for now, the demands on habits to be able to medicate were something he just couldn’t get done.
It did help him focus at school, but he told me later he also had some palpitations and heart things with them that he ignored as he wanted so much for the meds to “fix him”. He said he never really felt anything as such, but his mood did get less predictable and one of the meds made him dangerously depressed. But that can happen, something else might have been a better fit.
But afaik there was no “high” apart from mood changing a bit after he had been on them longer. Appetite he did struggle with as he already often forgets to eat. Same with hydration.
It’s a pretty big task to take on and navigate, all the solidarity for you in your journey
lollll yep, telling someone with intense executive dysfunction to eat every morning and take a pill at the same time every day is hilarious to me. I’m thinking I may need a different medication to try, or maybe I’m just autistic with really intense demand avoidance lol. I’m glad your son has found some ways to navigate the world that work for him!
Have you tried to look at adult dx? I’m an afab person, and I was lucky to have a non binary psychologist who started to slowly introduce me to the idea of being neurodivergent after a long while of working together. I’d never even thought of it otherwise due to stereotypes. I also haven’t tried to go down the full assessment rabbit hole but definitely wonder what it would look like since I’m coded as a woman.
I’m sorry that you’re in a period of burnout; it feels so horrible and I think is a big reason that I think I’m autistic. When I feel burnt out from work, or the task of being social, etc. I just feel burnt out on EVERYTHING. Hanging with friends is a chore. Riding my bike is a chore. Gardening is a chore. Reading is a chore. Anything that I think of that I like to do and should help ground me sounds so overwhelming and scary and anxiety inducing to think about even. Sometimes forcing myself does help, but other times I am just so glad that the ordeal is over. My cognitive acuity has declined, the ability to articulate myself clearly, too. It’s so shitty to feel that way. But yeah, maybe if we didn’t have to fucking slave away all day, and be able to focus on rest and doing what we love, burnout may not exist in the way that regular folk experience it, as well as ND folk. Big hugs to you and I hope
Hear hear, I will reply to your awesome reply better when I have more spoons. Just letting you know I really appreciate your thoughtful reply.