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Brand@feddit.de to > Greentext@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 years ago

Anon finds a glitch in the modern dating system

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Anon finds a glitch in the modern dating system

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Brand@feddit.de to > Greentext@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • Crikeste@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Aren’t fantasies fun?

    • Pissnpink@feddit.uk
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      2 years ago

      He’s so smart, tricking silly women into having sex with him in his mind.

      • modifier@lemmy.ca
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        2 years ago

        Hahaha broads are so gullible.

        • IndescribablySad@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          Not all broads are like me…

        • synestia@lemmy.ml
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          2 years ago

          What’s the deal with airplane food though?

      • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        But not smart enough to pick a percentage that divides evenly by 10.

    • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      What kind of robot thinks “hey are you waiting for someone” sounds like a normal thing to ask a person?

      Be me Stood up by obvious catfish Sad that I fell for it again Even worse, the man who’s been drinking alone while staring at me for the last half hour is coming over. He smirks and asks “hey are you waiting for someone”? I instinctually interpret it as “do you have any witnesses arriving soon?”

      • Ddhuud@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        You’ve been watching this person for half an hour, you pick up certain cues, like they being alone and waiting instead of making an order.

        • Clipboards@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Yeah like original post is bullshit but this isn’t at all a foreign thing to say

  • PeleSpirit@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    85% out of 10, what is the half one working?

    • Dudewitbow@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      They had fun together, but she didn’t go all the way because they were family.

      • oldGregg@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        hal

    • TheBERFA@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Well, he said it worked 10 times, and 85% of the time. He may mean it worked 10 out of 12 attempts and is rounding up from 83.3%

      But let’s be honest, he probably hadn’t even attempted it once.

      • Hackerman_uwu@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Homie did the math!

    • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      It worked, but turned out to be a guy. Still had a good time though

    • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      That’s the one we call the Boebert.

    • Ddhuud@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      The date pulled out the same crap so each had half a point.

    • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Their hands instead.

    • PeWu@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      He’s starting a business lah!

  • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    10 times

    85%

    • GCostanzaStepOnMe@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      That’s fucking 8 times and a blowie

      • DuncanIdaho@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

        • kibiz0r@midwest.social
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          2 years ago

          Well, that turns 8/10 into 10/8, cuz you reverse the top and bottom.

          • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            Ayyyy

    • Shard@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      60% of the time, it works everytime.

      • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        fire alarm goes off

    • Pretty Sure Not a Bot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      85% of the time, it works every time!

      • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬@lemmy.ml
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        2 years ago

        WHEN it works, it works.

        Success rate 100% in case it works.

    • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I caught this math too…haha That poor woman…

  • MTK@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I’d rather die than be this desperate and immoral.

    Perfect green text!

    • body_by_make@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      This is basically how a romance scam works but without the asking for money part

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    I’ve posted this green text 20 times and people fall for it 73.6% of the time

    • AngryHumanoid@reddthat.com
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      2 years ago

      5 out of 7 statistics are made up on the spot.

      • wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one
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        2 years ago

        oh damn, a perfect score

    • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      60% of the time, it works every time.

  • aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org
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    2 years ago

    How does the math work that they did it 10x with 85% working?

    Also wtf gaslighting. This is a whole new level of negging

    • Hegar@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      I know right? It’s almost like people lie on the internet.

      • Dirk Darkly@sh.itjust.works
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        2 years ago

        Sure, but this is 4chan. They tend to operate with integrity.

        • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Ooh sorry I said 'tegridy…it’s completely different

      • JoShmoe@ani.social
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        2 years ago

        I almost caught someone in a lie once but then I realized I was just stupid.

      • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        It’s almost like people think manipulating and lying to women to get them into bed is hilarious fun

      • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        mfw I spread misinformation on the internet

    • rwhitisissle@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      That’s not gaslighting. It’s catfishing. Gaslighting is when you try to trick someone into thinking they’re crazy or that their memory is unreliable by lying to them about events you both experienced or knew about.

      • gohixo9650@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        people love to use new words they’ve learnt even when they’ve misunderstood what they actually mean. Funnily enough, that comment has been upvoted 83 times, showing that the majority of people are either fine in using terms in wrong context or are also not aware of the correct term.

        • ADTJ@feddit.uk
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          2 years ago

          You can’t really deduce what the majority of people think without knowing the raw numbers of how many people saw it.

          I suspect the majority probably didn’t vote it at all

          • gohixo9650@discuss.tchncs.de
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            2 years ago

            sure, there are people just leeching, but something objectively wrong usually gets more downvoted than upvoted.

      • arin@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        It’s not even cat fishing cuz he’s not pretending to be the matched person

        • rwhitisissle@lemmy.ml
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          Catfishing is defined by wikipedia as

          a deceptive activity in which a person creates a fictional persona or fake identity on a social networking service, usually targeting a specific victim. The practice may be used for financial gain, to compromise a victim in some way, as a way to intentionally upset a victim, or for wish fulfillment.

          OP made an account on Tinder and pretended to be a hot guy by utilizing the image of a totally different, super attractive man, for the purpose of exploiting women and manipulating them into being at a particular place at a particular time so he could make it seem like the person they matched with stood them up, only to show up as a less enticing backup option to someone who was emotionally compromised. I mean, he obviously didn’t because none of this is real, but if he had, it would still be catfishing.

    • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Dennis would be proud

      • kittygrunge@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 years ago

        The Dennis System is the only way!

    • ByGourou@sh.itjust.works
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      It worked 10 times. We can guess he tried 12 times with 2 fails, 10/12 rounds up to 85%.

  • Patapon Enjoyer@lemmy.world
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    The only believable part is at the beginning where 30 women didn’t go on a date with someone who uses 4chan after talking to them.

  • messianic@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Remember to turn off notification sounds 😉

  • Doesnotexist@lemmy.world
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    How can you do it 10 times and have an 85% success rate?

    • lapommedeterre@lemmy.world
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      Maybe just a handy, so counts it as half

    • AeroLemming@lemm.ee
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      deleted by creator

    • thewebroach@lemmy.world
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      Maybe one of the times he failed outright and another time he only got to 2nd base

  • saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    60% of the time, it works every time.

    • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      I’m going to be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.

      • metaStatic@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

  • mounderfod@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 years ago

    I’m like 90% sure this features in Barney Stinson’s playbook lmfao

    • garibaldi_biscuit@lemmy.world
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      I’m wondering what 85% of something that worked 10 times is.

      • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
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        8.5, probably a blowjob.

      • jdaxe@infosec.pub
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        One time he only got an unenthusiastic handjob in the bar toilets

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bz4637am5W74ekVJemIzUTBlM2M/edit?resourcekey=0-LNhYDvbuRv9Sf39E_ZTlhA

      Kind of page 61

  • DuncanIdaho@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • DrZoidbergYes@lemmy.world
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      Do people think pilots are rich and powerful? I know a couple of pilots. They make about €90k a year and they are basically well qualified bus drivers.

      • DuncanIdaho@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          I was briefly confused as to why the PH level of thee pilots was improtant and then I realized it stood for pounds an hour.

          • ADTJ@feddit.uk
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            ph - per hour, not pounds an hour :D

          • UnverifiedAPK@lemmy.ml
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            Because at 11 they’re pretty basic

            • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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              2 years ago

              Ba-dum-tiss.

      • PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee
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        Mmm, sexy bus drivers!

      • AlexisFR@jlai.lu
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        You’re kidding right?

      • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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        Man, where to begin with this.

        A. The pilots you know are making way more than most commercial pilots if those numbers aren’t made up.

        B. Nearly 100K in USD a year IS A LOT OF MONEY to most people, certainly nothing to scoff at. Way more than the median US income.

        C. You’re on fucking drugs if you legitimately believe that piloting a plan requires the same level of competency as driving a bus.

        D. Who the fuck upvoted you?

    • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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      Why is wanting a person with money even in the same ballpark of bad as lying to people to get them into bed?

      Just because I don’t understand or share the preference of someone doesn’t mean I want them to get used like a fleshlight.

      Is it seriously your opinion that a person wanting someone with money is a bad human being who deserves to be treated like what your workmate did?

      This is simply misogyny. And people are ultra casual about it. That’s seriously scary. I wonder what other partner preferences you think makes women basically lose their right to be treated with a baseline of respect.

      • DuncanIdaho@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

        • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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          This is a quote from you where you put women who want men with money on the same level as a guy exploiting them through manipulation:

          My old workmate used to tell women he was a pilot. […] but also bad on the women who dribble over money and power. Nobody was a great human being in that situation.

          I am still waiting for your explanation on why women who want a guy with money are “bad”.

          • DuncanIdaho@lemmy.world
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            deleted by creator

            • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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              So I can assume every man who wants an attractive and/or young(er) woman is also a bad human being who deserves to get manipulated and lied to for whatever reason. Got it!

  • Clbull@lemmy.world
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    I think the term here is ‘chadfishing.’

    There are people who allegedly do stuff like this on Tinder, but it’s mainly to push the incel narrative that you need a strong square jawline, huge chin, and other masculine features to even have a chance to match with ladies on Tinder.

    Or course people claiming this could easily have faked screenshots, so take that with a massive grain of salt.

    • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@lemmy.ml
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      well it is a pretty shallow app.

      being good looking helps. I’ve done tinder as a fat guy and as a fit guy (legitimately, i lost a load of weight for a while) and i got a lot more attention when i was fitter.

      • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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        People looking for a quick boink like fitter people better. No surprises there

  • DreadTowel@lemmy.world
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    Evil if true

    • MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world
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      He’s not breaking the rules, just bending it a little bit

      • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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        He’s a fucking asshole when real that hopefully gets some real syphilis from one of his encounters.

  • min_fapper@iusearchlinux.fyi
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    I think there’s a friends episode with this as the plot

    • Mr_Blott@lemmy.world
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      The One Where They Telegraph A Joke From A Mile Off So Even The Stupid People Can Understand It

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Can you narrow it down some?

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