I have cancelled you. It’s unfortunate it had to come to this…

This guy doesn’t even know how problematic Bulbasaur is.

Fire the cancel cannon!

Very problematic I suggest you do some research.

A hater tried to cancel you because Bulbasaur is “problematic,” but I’ll uncancel you because Bulbasaur is very cute and should be cherished

Of course it is. what are you talking about?

O no

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I mean who wouldn’t want to fuck a blobfish? I’ll tell you who wouldn’t want to fuck a blobfish; people who have fucked a blobfish.

Sure, it looks enticing, a surfaced blobfish, what with its pouty face and honker’s nose, ooh with its soft, squishy flesh and a little, non-threatening fins, boop bogga zoop dogga doop with its innocent nature and trusting eyes. It wants to be fucked. That’s what it looks like its made for. It’s a fuck fish! That’s what everyone who has fucked a blobfish told themselves. It’s what I told myself before I fucked a blobfish, but it…

Gaahh.

As soon as you push your penis into that squisher’s flabby flesh, you understand, and I mean truly understand, why it’s called a blobfish. Your throbbing dong has nothing to work with in in there, just pure tepid jelly. There is no feeling, no sensation. My mind went blank as my numb meat wobbled aimlessly. Thrusting did no good, how could it? It’s all blob. There’s no back and forth sensation to speak of, just all blob.

After a while, and this is something that happens to everyone who fucks a blobfish, the blobfish just kinda sloughed off my dangler. I didn’t even notice. I was in a stupor. As feeling and conciousness returned to me, I realized by the tenderness in my penis, that I had ejac’d several times over the course of only a half hour of being fleshly engaged with that blobfish, but did I feel any of those glopper pops? Nope. Not a one. Instead, that tender post-ejac feeling stuck with me months after that blobfish dropped off my cock and splatted on the pavement (yeah, I fucked a blobfish outside on the sidewalk).

Not worth it. If you feel like you want to fuck a blobfish, believe me when I say that you don’t want to fuck a blobfish.

deleted by creator

Sir, is your pale white Vaporeon a shiny?

Don’t forget the poem

“Unfortuante” doesn’t begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don’t see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not.

I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won’t get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I’ll suffer through a few more games for them.

One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.

https://lemmy.ml/comment/4588739

bruh

deleted by creator

Gengar is also my favorite.

Ditto.

Risky click of the day.

oh it’s the most horrific and misogynistic one of course!

dang it unfair cancel culture has taken my comments out of context yet again

Is your autism diagnosed or undiagnosed?

Y’know, actually…

Umbreon > Vaporeon

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it’s human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it’s cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3’3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It’s relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it’s combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It’s ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it’s current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you’re getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon’s energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon’s wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you’re hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon’s movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it’s sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon’s defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon’s slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it’s sunny). It’s access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

bang

We give a crap because it can ruin lives with pitchfork justice. It was supposed to be a palliative to shitty regular justice but the newfound power found madness.

Get cancelled

I did a playthrough of crystal last year and was playing it on breaks at work, my team for most of the run included three Alakazams just because I knew it would annoy one of my coworkers.