A Detroit synagogue president was found fatally stabbed outside her home Saturday morning.
Samantha Woll, 40, led the congregation of Isaac Agree Downtown Synagogue. The synagogue confirmed Woll’s death Saturday in a statement writing, “We are shocked and saddened to learn of the unexpected death of Samantha Woll, our Board President.”
“May her memory be a blessing,” the statement continued.
Authorities said a 911 call was made to Woll’s home early Saturday, reporting an individual lying on the ground unresponsive. Police discovered multiple stab wounds on Woll’s body and found a trail of blood leading to her house, where they believe the crime occurred.
An investigation is underway. At this time, the motive for the crime remains unknown.
Among any number of other potential motives. There’s a definite hierarchy of probability but random blind assertions in public are not how you build an actual fucking criminal case.
You missed the most obvious one: most women are murdered by men they know, and largely by current or former intimate partners. Especially since
Thank you. Also worth noting is that this is Detroit, so, while death is always tragic, it’s not unheard of in the city.
Nope. All available evidence you need is in the article, didn’t you read it? Her religion. That’s it, case closed.
But… I guess if that’s somehow not enough, we could just to sprinkle some crack on her.
Edit: I assumed the Dave Chappelle sprinkle crack callback would make the sarcasm clear. Apparently not.
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When you take everything you read literally and as Very Serious Business, do you do it as a studied effort, or are you just like this?
Oh what, so now you were JUST KIDDING BRO.
Shut the fuck up.
So your idea of a rebuttal to “don’t take everything literally” is to say “well if it’s not black then it’s white”? You’re either literally a school-age child or a complete idiot, what is it about nuance that escapes you? How do you even have to think about it, why isn’t it just coming naturally from common sense. Living your life must feel like the first 2 seconds after a blow to the head all the time.
It’s so weird how you could have just said “you know what bro, that makes sense.” and grown a bit from the experience, but instead you thought “yOU tAkE tHInGs too LiTeraL” was an appropriate response.
Fuck me if I’ll ever understand these types of people.
You missed the point, and you just keep reinforcing that you missed the point. You just keep doing it, it’s like watching a man who doesn’t realize his toupee is hanging off the back of his head. Am I really going to have to explain it to you? It would be like explaining why water is wet, it degrades everyone present. Do us both a favor: apply the context clue skills you didn’t pay attention to in your third grade Language Arts class and piss off till you get it.
I know it’s sometimes hard to decipher sarcasm from written word, but holy shit people took your joke insanely seriously.
Stay away from stand-up comedy, someone might discover you own a PlayStation as well.
FWIW, I chuckled. What a sad fucking story and what a sad fucking state that you’re consoling humor went so unappreciated.
Or maybe sarcastically implying that a murder was a hate crime when we know literally nothing about the situation is a shit joke. Immediately screeching like a toddler after very mild pushback isn’t a good look either.
I’m just not reading it as screeching, but what do I know? I misread tone all the time.
Either way, I’m morbidly curious what they’re going to find about this. Stabbing murders tend to be incredibly personal, which could imply that this was done by someone close to her or someone wanted to delight in her suffering.
I’m no detective, just some random internet dude, but if not a hate crime, whoever murdered this poor lady certainly had some strong feelings about her.
Let the pearl-clutching begin!