Lemmy.one
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Funny: Home of the Haha@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

The allure of a good stick

startrek.website

message-square
181
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • justguysbeingdudes@lemmy.world
944

The allure of a good stick

startrek.website

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Funny: Home of the Haha@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
message-square
181
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • justguysbeingdudes@lemmy.world
  • JPSound@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    253
    ·
    2 years ago

    I found a kickass stick 4 years ago in the Smokies the weekend my wife and I got married. It’s literally the perfect stick. Straight, smooth, nice thickness, durable as hell. Must be of a rare hardwood variety, I would imagine. I still have that stick in the corner and I see it everyday when I’m sitting at my PC. Have I ever used it for anything? I wouldn’t dare. It’s too nice of a stick to just use on a whim. Why do I keep it around? Well, if I ever had a problem that required a really nice fuckin stick, I’m covered. Every year or so, my wife says to me, “JPSound, you still have that stick?! Why do you keep that thing around?” I look that woman dead in the eyes and say, “there will come a day, my bride, when the creator of all shall lay before us an obstacle, nay, a challenge that only a mighty stick of such grandeur may aid us in such a lofty trial. And this stick, my dearest, this stick awaits our call to guide us into the sunkissed valley of victory so sweet. Only then shall you see what I see. Know what I know now, that this mear stick, is far more than it seems. Then you will know, I am the mighty protector of this home and family. You will see, my love. You will see.” Then she usually just rolls her eyes and says, “whatever… I gotta run to the grocery store. Do you need anything special?” And I respond with a mighty boom, “yeah, that fancy chocolate milk I like, please.”

    • JPSound@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      278
      ·
      2 years ago

      I may never get another chance to share this with the world, so may I present to you…

      • Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        cake
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        81
        ·
        2 years ago

        Dude that may be the most perfect stick I’ve ever seen.

      • Skkorm@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        71
        ·
        2 years ago

        That IS a really good stick

      • Dafuqs@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        56
        ·
        2 years ago

        That stick did not dissapoint

      • Terevos@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        52
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        That’s a pretty fantastic stick.

        I read your whole comment and I was skeptical. But you’re totally right about everything.

        • Wermhatswormhat@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          2 years ago

          Missed opportunity! It was Fanta”stick”

          • Terevos@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            edit-2
            2 years ago

            groan

            roll eyes

      • el_bhm@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        39
        ·
        2 years ago

        This is a one bitching stick.

      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        37
        ·
        2 years ago

        Shit, that’s a nice stick.

      • ѕєχυαℓ ρσℓутσρє@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        32
        ·
        2 years ago

        Amazing!

      • BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        32
        ·
        2 years ago

        That’s a nice fuckin stick

      • indepndnt@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        29
        ·
        2 years ago

        I have to admit, I thought you were exaggerating. But that’s a damn fine stick.

      • pyromaster55@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        26
        ·
        2 years ago

        That is a quality fuckin stick my man.

      • Sanity_in_Moderation@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        26
        ·
        2 years ago

        That’s a fantastic stick. Don’t throw it away.

      • ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        25
        ·
        2 years ago

        Would that I had such a perfect stick… I can’t blame you for not using it. Just don’t let the dust collect on it!

        I’ve never worked with wood, but I imagine a layer of mineral oil could keep it looking great.

      • CDenno@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        24
        ·
        2 years ago

        That is one helluva nice stick.

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        24
        ·
        2 years ago

        Damn. That’s a helluva stick. You better treasure that

      • make -j8@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        2 years ago

        It has a 1.5x buff for dark damage! Rare drop

        • JPSound@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          2 years ago

          1d6+2 bludgeoning damage 1d6 earth damage +2 charisma

      • ProperlyProperTea@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        2 years ago

        Nice stick bro. Excellent length, nice girth.

      • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        ·
        2 years ago

        You undersold it!

      • Vincent Adultman@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        ·
        2 years ago

        nice stick my man

      • pythonoob@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        ·
        2 years ago

        Damn dude nice stick

      • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        2 years ago

        Nice stick bro

      • funktion@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        2 years ago

        That’s a nice fuckin stick right there, king

      • gmanlikescheese@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        2 years ago

        Nice stick!

      • alehc@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        2 years ago

        Holy hell what a nice stick!

      • NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        2 years ago

        That’s a really nice stick!

      • big_slap@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        2 years ago

        wow this really is the perfect stick

      • bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        Nice.

      • jopepa@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        You should make a glass case for it with a decal “Break Glass In Case Of Emergency”

      • Kerandir@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        Gandalf’s stick is jealous of this.

      • DNOS@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        Really good stick just the perfect thickness nice slight bend too the plant which came from nailed it … Must be glorified

      • banazir@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        2 years ago

        Thanks for the stick pic!

      • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Wow! That’s fantastick!

      • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        2 years ago

        Bruh that stick is dope. Keep it safe, the fate of the world may depend upon it.

      • StoicImpala@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        2 years ago

        Fantastick !

      • kase@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        2 years ago

        Damn, nice stick!

      • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        2 years ago

        That is a nice stick.

      • FabioTheNewOrder@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        2 years ago

        May I add my compliments and salutations to the already extensive list? Extensive as the beauty represented by that stick, of course

      • machinaeZER0@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        Top tier stick my dude

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        Stick!

      • Imre@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      55
      ·
      2 years ago

      Memories of the wedding that weekend? Spotty at best.

      Memories of finding that stick? Near photographic.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        And the stick was FREE, like all the best things in life.

        • tpihkal@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 years ago

          I want the money. It’s what I want.

    • rob64@startrek.website
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      2 years ago

      Are you Nick Offerman? Because this sounds very much like his writing style.

      Also, it’s spelled “mere”, not “mear”.

    • PowerGloveSoBad@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      2 years ago

      You’re lucky – whenever you can’t remember the date of your anniversary, just look up the date you got married

    • mvirts@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 years ago

      Man this is great. I need to upgrade from the Home Depot Sticks of Justice we keep around the house, just in case.

Funny: Home of the Haha@lemmy.world

funny@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !funny@lemmy.world

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We’re all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

  • /c/TenForward@lemmy.world - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts

  • /c/Memes@lemmy.world - General memes

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 67 users / day
  • 36 users / week
  • 943 users / month
  • 7.96K users / 6 months
  • 22 local subscribers
  • 6.82K subscribers
  • 1.32K Posts
  • 23.7K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Anticorp@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.7
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org