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funny@lemmus.org to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 年前

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funny@lemmus.org to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 年前
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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Not all metal, but there is a type of metal that increases a person’s probability to become a violent criminal. It’s called “lead”.

    • wkk@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Dad?

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Wait until they tell you that mercury is in Gatorade

  • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
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    2 年前

    idunno, some kind of metal has been involved in overwhelming majority of violent deaths since copper tools were invented.

    • Damage@slrpnk.net
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      2 年前

      Make music (with metal), not war!

      • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
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        2 年前

        i dunno, those brass tubes seem kinda sus

  • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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    2 年前

    Lead singer of Cannibal Corpse loves claw machines and plays them on tour. He collects up all his winnings and donated them at a local orphanage at Christmas.

    He also sings I Cum Blood

    • YoorWeb@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      This must be one disturbed individual. What makes someone go down this route? I don’t understand how anyone can enjoy claw machines.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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        2 年前

        Especially once you find out it’s not actually a game of skill, it’s just rigged. Operators can change, among other things, the percentage of times the claw will grip strong enough to actually get a prize and how often the claw deliberately drops a prize you did manage to snag.

    • pifroproth@lemmy.zip
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      2 年前

      Don’t forget frantic disenbowelment

    • neptune@dmv.social
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      2 年前

      Well does he?

  • habanhero@lemmy.ca
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    2 年前

    Speak for yourself. I regularly go out to help old folks buy groceries, volunteer at soup kitchens, and get shitface drunk. Not necessarily in that order.

    • HotsauceHurricane
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      2 年前

      “Hey fuckin…old lady, wan summ help with HIC Crozeries? Im SO FUCKIN STRONG” vomit

    • Enzy@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Shit face kitchen and soup drunk

      • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        That’s a bad restaurant name followed by a great one

        • Enzy@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Why not have it all?

    • DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Meanwhile here’s a picture of one of metal’s brutalist lead vocalists

      • Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        The picture doesn’t load for me but I just know it’s George Fischer

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 年前

    I used to drive a shit commute. I’d put on metal to vent my frustration and suddenly have a huge smile. I’d imagine people in the pit picking up people who fell and think how my parents would never understand.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Finland is the happiest country in the world.

    They also have the highest number of metal bands, including one specifically targeting children (it’s called Hevisaurus btw).

    These two facts about Finland feel like they shouldn’t line up but they do.

    • YoorWeb@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Obligatory Party Cannon.

      • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        You mean Payaty Cannon (the reversed R is pronounced “ya” in languages that use the Cyrillic script, so what I saw was Faux Cyrillic)?

        I can already hear the booing.

        • YoorWeb@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          I’ve pronounced Toys Ya Us wrong my whole life.

          • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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            2 年前

            Same.

  • jabathekek@sopuli.xyz
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    2 年前

    I find Beethoven makes me crazy if I listen to him to often. I can feel the madness seeping off the notes.

    • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      Mercury poisoning transmitted through air vibrations.

      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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        2 年前

        Unrelated, is your profile pic the stronghold advisor?

        • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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          2 年前

          yes :3

          • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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            2 年前

            Fucken A. Hope stronghold and stronghold crusaders get the age of empires treatment one day.

      • jabathekek@sopuli.xyz
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        2 年前

        Environmental contamination transcends space and time.

  • HotsauceHurricane
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    2 年前

    I have the vinyl for dopesmoker and evey time I put it on my roomate would always fucking zonk out on the couch. That was before he started the marijuanas.

    • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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      2 年前

      Next try Cannabis Corpse

      • HotsauceHurricane
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        2 年前

        Its on the list!

    • OozingPositron@feddit.cl
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      2 年前

      Proceeds the Weedian!

  • dan1101@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    It’s true, I listen to unwind. If I had to listen to Celine Dion or something I’d just get more stressed.

  • defunct_punk@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Most metal heads in my experience spend their time styling their hair, blowing each other, and listening to music made 40 years ago because their genre hasn’t made good music since the late 80s

    • BruceTwarzen@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      That’s a weird way to say you don’t know anyone.

      • Damage@slrpnk.net
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        2 年前

        A metalhead got the girl he fancied but never spoke to

    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      Have you talked to one since the 80’s?

    • Beelzebob@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I mean, who doesn’t like a good bj?

    • Norgur@kbin.social
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      2 年前

      Hah! You attempted a troll.

    • Nikki@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      me listening to metal while playing minecraft:

    • OozingPositron@feddit.cl
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      2 年前

      Nice bait. 5/10

    • Skkorm@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Jokes on you, I blow dudes while listening to trance, not metal.

    • Slow@lemmy.today
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      2 年前

      😆 Good joke

    • RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      deleted by creator

    • underKap@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      by far the most biased experience ever

  • fl42v@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    Literally me for the last few days: listening to dsbm and staring at build errors 🤣

  • Spendrill@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    Obviously a bit daft to generalise about any musical genre but if I were to pick one with a higher number of capably violent people I’d say Streetpunk (also known as oi) and if I had to pick a second it would be hardcore punk.

    • kronisk @lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Gangsta rap beats all genres mentioned here in terms of associated violence and death.

      • Skkorm@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        You’ve obviously never lived somewhere rural where country is king. Hicks are violant as hell, there’s no comparison.

        You just don’t hear about I because we fuck around in the woods and down backroads.

        • kronisk @lemmy.world
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          I actually grew up around people just like that. Point is, the music they listened to never mentioned violence in any shape or form yet they would happily beat up anyone they could get their hands on for any made up reason they could think of - like being a metalhead or just wearing the wrong color pants.

      • Spendrill@lemm.ee
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        Not if you take the crimes per capita of that genre’s fans. Something like Norweigan Black Metal would win then, or some tiny Nazi punk scene.

        • kronisk @lemmy.world
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          So you’ve added the criteria per capita; I still think you’d find that the gang milieus that gangsta rap (in its various forms) is closely associated with vastly overshadows any isolated cases of Nödtveidt or Varg-wannabes there still might be out there. Black Metal is also one of the most popular subgenres of metal nowadays, so the per capita argument doesn’t really apply.

          RAC/White Power-music perhaps, but then only because the fanbase of this music is so embarrassingly small.

    • rainynight65@feddit.de
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      2 年前

      Country music.

  • Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de
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    I’m not super into metal, but I like going to metal festivals because the people there are always chill. Just stay clear of the mosh pit and you are going to be fine and even if you are unknowingly entering it, they will find out pretty quickly that it was a mistake on your part and escort you out.

  • Slwh47696@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    It’s true, sometimes I need the soothing sounds of Individual Thought Patterns to help me fall asleep

  • PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    picks up a screw I will harness this things power to take over the world.

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