When I first came to Lemmy, I was more defensive than I realized. I had gotten used to aggressive, obnoxious behavior. Soon, I noticed that wasn’t an accepted norm here. It only took a couple days to realize, but I needed a few weeks to actually get out of the habit. In those early days, I’m sure I brought some toxicity with me.
Now, though, I don’t create, feed, or encourage toxic comments. I just assume it’s an honest mistake, poor choice of words, or someone whose primary language isn’t English. If I choose to reply, I’m friendly, and give them the benefit of the doubt. If a comment seems deliberately rude or trolling, I don’t engage at all.
Also, how nice is it to be able to give (or get) the benefit of the doubt?!? You can make a spelling error without getting three or four pedantic screeds! I didn’t realize how much I missed basic civility until I rediscovered it here!
Somewhat. I’ll use myself as an example.
When I first came to Lemmy, I was more defensive than I realized. I had gotten used to aggressive, obnoxious behavior. Soon, I noticed that wasn’t an accepted norm here. It only took a couple days to realize, but I needed a few weeks to actually get out of the habit. In those early days, I’m sure I brought some toxicity with me.
Now, though, I don’t create, feed, or encourage toxic comments. I just assume it’s an honest mistake, poor choice of words, or someone whose primary language isn’t English. If I choose to reply, I’m friendly, and give them the benefit of the doubt. If a comment seems deliberately rude or trolling, I don’t engage at all.
Also, how nice is it to be able to give (or get) the benefit of the doubt?!? You can make a spelling error without getting three or four pedantic screeds! I didn’t realize how much I missed basic civility until I rediscovered it here!
Sounds like you’re in a much healthier mindset now! And I think that mindset spreads just as virally as toxicity, both online and in real life.
Kudos on the introspection and growth, my friend