• Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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    10 months ago

    Correct. Why would anyone go for a worse option for themselves?

    Edit: A benefit to one group does not mean a detriment to others. This is not a zero sum game.

    The funny thing is that the left could offer so many things for men:

    • address mental health issues
    • paternal leave / support for fatherhood
    • Less dangerous work
    • rehabilitation in prisons
    • a free lamborghini
    • address homelessness

    All of which are mostly men issues.

        • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          You’re not wrong, but the wage gap? Not going to close if we give everyone a raise. It would be the same wage gap.

          • hakase@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            I’m pretty sure that by this point most reasonable people have realized that the wage gap is a myth, so that’s probably not your best example.

              • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                10 months ago

                In addition to being less likely than men to say they are currently the boss or a top manager at work, women are also more likely to say they wouldn’t want to be in this type of position in the future. More than four-in-ten employed women (46%) say this, compared with 37% of men. Similar shares of men (35%) and women (31%) say they are not currently the boss but would like to be one day. These patterns are similar among parents.

                The wage gap exists because women have reasonable expectations for work-life balance (one reason). Men are culturally expected to rise and grind.

                This isn’t the win that wage gap enthusiasts think it is. It’s essentially saying:

                Wanna get paid more? Be a corporate whore.

                • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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                  10 months ago

                  Still missing the point. Giving everyone more doesn’t fix inequality.

                  Giving those with less the means to exist doesn’t make what you have lesser.

                  The point you’ve made here seems to be, corporations are bad, everyone is exploited now, and if anyone wants to make money you have to give up your life to do so.

                  Also, the part of the paper you’ve cherry picked suits your narrative but doesn’t paint the entire picture.

                  • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                    10 months ago

                    Also, the part of the paper you’ve cherry picked suits your narrative

                    Yes, I chose the part of the paper that supported my argument.

                    So what? Is it out of context? Nope.

                    The point you’ve made here seems to be … if anyone wants to make money you have to give up your life to do so.

                    You literally sell your time (life) to get money. That is what a wage is. Want more money? Sell more time.

                    I’m not saying that is a bad or good thing. I’m stating straight facts.

              • hakase@lemm.ee
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                10 months ago

                Not really, since that’s just the same ill-defined “Earnings Gap” nonsense constantly peddled as a “wage gap” for decades. As this article from Forbes and the sources inside explain, and has been well-known for a decade at this point, “When comparing two people in the same profession, with the same seniority, working the same number of hours, and so forth, women earn $0.98 for every dollar that a man earns.”

                Their source for that number has since updated that number to $0.99 for every dollar a man earns for the same work.

                So, unless you think that women should be paid significantly more than men for the same work (which wouldn’t surprise me, given your other comments in this thread), Rejoice! for the “wage gap” is no more!

                • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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                  10 months ago

                  It should be dollar for dollar, don’t act like I have implied anything more. I’m done with this, as you missed my original point: Giving everyone more doesn’t fix inequality.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            The gender pay gap is insignificant and inconsequential compared to the income differences between working and owning classes. Also, much of the pay gap is due to men culturally tending to not have the option of escaping the grindset. “Honey I’m going to quit my job and do something that doesn’t alienate me, yes it’s going to pay less” is not something universally accepted by wives.

        • affiliate@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          being gay is more accepted. there’s also much less pressure to conform to masculine standards. e.g., being able to talk about feelings, expressing yourself in fashion/makeup, joining in traditionally feminine careers like nursing/teaching (both of which have exploded in the past 50 years). just to name a few

          they also haven’t used the draft in 50 years

          edit: striked through things are either factually incorrect (nursing) or more nuanced than my original comment implied (military draft)

          • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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            10 months ago

            being gay is more accepted.

            Fair. A win for all.

            there’s also much less pressure to conform to masculine standards. e.g., being able to talk about feelings

            Not the wider experience. Men are still stigmatised for expressing themselves. Example: how often do men get to be emotionally vulnerable in a public setting compared to women?

            joining in traditionally feminine careers like nursing/teaching

            This is flat out wrong, it’s actually getting worse.

            https://www.unesco.org/en/articles/gender-equality-and-through-teaching-profession

            Sex ratios in healthcare occupations: population based study.

            they also haven’t used the draft in 50 years

            That’s because there are enough men who are financially destitute, who sell their lives into the military.

            Don’t need a draft when there is enough blood money going around.

            • affiliate@lemmy.world
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              10 months ago

              you’re right about the teachers thing, my apologies for getting things mixed up. from what i can see, i was right about the nursing thing though. here’s a source from columbia verifying that nursing has increased 10x since 1997: https://www.nursing.columbia.edu/news/many-more-men.

              Not the wider experience. Men are still stigmatised for expressing themselves. Example: how often do men get to be emotionally vulnerable in a public setting compared to women?

              my claim wasn’t that men are no longer stigmatized, i was only trying to suggest that it’s better now than it was before. there is still a long way to go.

              That’s because there are enough men who are financially destitute, who sell their lives into the military. Don’t need a draft when there is enough blood money going around.

              i agree with this point is general, but i think financial destitution is something that is on the rise for both men and women. you bring up a good point that the decrease in people getting drafted isn’t the win i originally thought it was, so i’ll take that off the list.

              things like this made the original question a bit tricky to answer: i can think of many ways in which things have gotten better/worse for both men and women, but i can’t really think of ways in which things have gotten better/worse for men. i can think of a lot of ways things have gotten better for women though (and some ways things have gotten worse)

          • Overshoot2648@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            The fact that I can’t wear a skirt in public without facing backlash, but a woman wearing pants is seen as normal makes me feel like there is still a lot of progress we have to make. I guess it’s equivalent would be women going topless casually. I really hate conservative/puritan values.

        • oatscoop@midwest.social
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          10 months ago

          Here’s 3.

          • Addressing men’s mental health. Normalizing therapy and talking about issues.
          • Promoting ideals and examples of healthy intimate relationships: communication, setting boundaries, etc.
          • Moving a way from the insecure, performative, fucked up version of “masculinity” – e.g. “I can’t wear pink, play with dolls with my kid, or bake because those things are feminine”.
          • JustSomePerson@kbin.social
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            10 months ago

            Yeah, fuck men who want to wear blue and play with cars. Being a man isn’t allowed. Unless you accept feminization, you’re the enemy. No wonder men choose to vote for the bad guys, when the “good” side demand that they play a role as weak.

            • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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              10 months ago

              Your problem is thinking that wearing blue is masculine and baking is feminine. Neither of those things are weak either.

              • JustSomePerson@kbin.social
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                10 months ago

                No, I’m not. Regardless, my point is that that list is making requirements on some men to be what they don’t want to be, to not be considered the enemy of the new left. Sure, some men would love to be allowed to wear pink, but some of us would hate to have to wear it. When you present the pink-wearing, baking, doll playing man as the one you welcome on your political “side”, you’re telling every man who doesn’t conform to that, that they’re not welcome. So they join the right, despite it being full of nazis. We don’t want to join the nazi side, but unlike you they don’t hate us for who we are.

                • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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                  10 months ago

                  Im sorry but if the nazis dont hate you for who you are then who are you? Because they hate everyone who isn’t them.

                  • JustSomePerson@kbin.social
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                    10 months ago

                    I’m a white man. The kind of people who are represented by the downward arrows. My point is that the arrows are going that way because of attitudes like those in the comment above. We used to vote for the socialist parties when it was the working class against the capital. Now it’s white men who are declared the enemy by those parties, because of gender and skin, aspects which are impossible to change.

        • BetaBlake@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Why do things need to get better for men? Things have been pretty excellent for men for a very very long time.

          • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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            10 months ago
            • high suicide rate
            • male loneliness has always been terrible and it’s on the rise
            • 19 out of 20 deaths at the work place are men
            • most likely to have poor work-life balance
            • most likely to be imprisoned
            • most likely to be homeless
            • most likely to NOT get custody of the kids they love

            Pretty excellent, aye? These men just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

            • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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              10 months ago

              Which of those issues are in place because men are oppressed as being inferior instead of being gender expectations that feminism targets? Meaning: which are a consequence of gender expectations?

              High suicide rate is connected to men more likely to have access to guns and because they are less likely to go to a doctor because of gender expectations.

              Loneliness is on the rise for everyone. Some studies find more loneliness in women. The idea of “the male loneliness epidemic” is meme that just generates tons of clicks and engagement. It’s not real.

              For the work place it’s again a problem of gender expectations. It’s not because people see men as inferior.

              So are the next three.

              Men are actually more likely to get custody if they ask for it. You have fallen for a manosphere conspiracy theory that has no basis in reality. Women more often get custody because when both parents work, the men’s job is respected, the women’s isn’t. They get automatically assumed to be the caregiver because of gender expectations. The only thing a man has to do is literally ask for custody. On the other hand, a single mother who is expected to do the brunt of the caregiving, can’t force the father to take more time with the kids. Simply because of gender expectations.

              • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                10 months ago

                High suicide rate is connected to men more likely to have access to guns

                High male suicide rates happen even without access to guns.

                The idea of “the male loneliness epidemic” is meme that just generates tons of clicks and engagement. It’s not real.

                Show me your receipts.

                For the work place it’s again a problem of gender expectations.

                You don’t think it’s internal drivers? That man are driven to perform internally and externally?

                Men are actually more likely to get custody of they ask for it.

            • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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              10 months ago

              No, these men need to communicate better with the women in their lives. They need to find and attend regular therapy. They need to practice safety regardless of their peers attitudes. They need to stand up for others rights, so we can all accommodate the burdens of life together. This list reads like a list of things men have imposed on other men from my perspective.

              • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                10 months ago

                these men need to communicate better

                They need to …

                They need to …

                They need to …

                There’s those bootstraps I was talking about.

                … from my perspective.

                • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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                  10 months ago

                  Ah yes, being a reasonable, empathetic member of society. “BoOtStRaPs!!1!”

                  I’m a depressed male, I have attended therapy, I have talked with those close to me, I have been in dark times, and I’m hella lonely. Being a fascist isn’t going to fix that, if history tells us anything, that’ll make it worse.

                  • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                    10 months ago

                    Ah yes, being a reasonable, empathetic member of society. “BoOtStRaPs!!1!”

                    The majority of lads are growing up without father figures, and yet we expect them to be functional males once they are adults.

                    If that’s not bootstraps, then I don’t know what is.

                    Being a fascist isn’t going to fix that

                    I never claimed that was a viable choice.

                    I’m a depressed male, I have attended therapy, I have talked with those close to me, I have been in dark times, and I’m hella lonely.

                    Then you of all people should know that there’s not much out there that is going to help you get to the next level. Imagine a world where you never had to go through dark times, or attend therapy, because the way you were brought up prepared you for those times. And gave you the emotional tools to navigate support networks.

                    Imagine stability.

                  • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
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                    10 months ago

                    See, you’re a depressed male shitting on other men that are trying to empathize with you, solely because they’re men and acknowledging men still have problems.

                    You’re also just being a dick.

            • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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              10 months ago

              And how should women help with male loneliness? Do you want a comfort woman assigned to you? Noone is entitled to a relationship.

              • hakase@lemm.ee
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                10 months ago

                Literally nobody said anything about “comfort women”, or that male loneliness even has anything to do with sexuality, for that matter.

                One thing women could do to help is to stop demonizing and dismantling male-only spaces that provide men an opportunity for bonding and comradeship while hypocritically demanding more and more women-only spaces.

                • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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                  10 months ago

                  Ok, then stop making those ‘male only’ spaces places where women are employed as sex objects and men are excluding their female colleagues from networking whilst engaging in a bit of fun sexual harrassment.

                  • hakase@lemm.ee
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                    10 months ago

                    Ok, then stop making blanket statements that all men’s spaces are like that, when that’s clearly not the case.

                    In fact, to answer your original question in a more complete manner: one thing women could do to help men’s lives improve is to stop systemically demonizing men in general.

              • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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                10 months ago

                how should women help with male loneliness?

                I wasn’t insinuating that women should help with male loneliness. I don’t think women have the answer here.

    • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Why would anyone go for a worse option for themselves?

      Because if everyone only voted for the things that benefit them, then it’s possible to end up in a situation that’s worse for everybody. If the majorities repeatedly votes for a small benefit to themselves and a large detriment to everyone else, this is basically guaranteed to happen. This is also why voting out of spite is a bad idea.

      Example: Let’s examine a population consisting of 60% white people and 60% Christians, uncorrelated (so 36% white Christians, 24% nonwhite Christians, 24% white non-Christians, and 16% nonwhite non-Christians). This population is making two votes: one that will be Very Bad for nonwhites, and one that will be Very Bad for non-Christians, with a small benefit to white people or Christians respectively. Both will pass, which results in:

      • 36% of the population (white Christians) gets two small benefits

      • 48% of the population (white non-Christians and nonwhite Christians combined) gets a small benefit and something Very Bad for them

      • 16% of the population (nonwhite non-Christians) gets two Very Bad results passed against them

      So the overall result is negative for 64% of the population, despite everyone voting for their interests and everyone voting! This is because the legislation was more bad for the minority than it was good for the majority.

      Bonus: I believe you can use this to prove that you can use a sequence of legislation to get into literally any position you want if everyone votes strictly for things that help them, and I saw a good YT video on that topic, but I can’t find it right now.

        • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Only if the appropriate legislation is available to vote on. If the only legislation available is something that hurts you a little and helps someone else a lot, it may be in society’s best interest to vote for it. If you were in a culture that encouraged that, your actions would be repaid by others doing the same, eventually securing large gains for everyone. This is the opposite of my example above, but the math works out the same.

          Essentially, there are situations in which the logical choice is to vote for something that hurts you, or to not vote for something that helps you. (Zero-sum-like situations are especially likely to have this occur.) Over a long period of time, what matters is how much each bill helps society overall, not how much it helps you in particular. (Yes, this stops working if the other groups won’t do the same for you.)

    • PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      So we should just let ‘minorities’ suffer? The term appeasement comes to mind, as I don’t know what else you could be advocating here.

        • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Let me get this straight, if you have food to survive, and someone else who doesn’t have food wants some food, not even your food, just some food, you need more food before they get any at all?

          • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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            10 months ago

            Did … did you even read my post? What is going on?

            Let me re-write it using your analogy.

            Why not both? Food for minorities and food for majorities.

            This isn’t a zero sum game.

            • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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              10 months ago

              Everyone should have food, my point is, the majority shouldn’t get extra food just because the minority are getting enough food now.