Why is this necessary? Ukraine is winning and killing 500,000 ruzzianZ a day. If anything Putler should be gooning his soldiers, not Zelensky
Ummm???
Actually, all of this shit is old news, now, apparently, Uke’s been doin’ it at Feb 2023, just recently afterwards…
Why are fascists always obsessed with semen?
Birthrates, mythologised blood, cheap labour
Blood and soil ideology and practice, egh…
Blood, soil and semen.
Sebum retention, mostly
Also the whole ‘The gene seed must be preserved at all costs’ thing
It’s disgusting. Literally this is the first time in human history that this is happening. Like how do they even store it?
They just freeze the sperm in samples I guess…
I mean, anything is on the table right now, for all I know… that’s life…
Imagine the pornos that will come out this. It’s gonna be like that one scene in The Boys where Hughie is at soldier boy’s place while that “weird” video about his character is playing
Artificial population growth post war.
That’s literally the dumbest thing, just let the civvies populate for you.
Very dumb to go after cum that’s gone bad
Especially weird when you’re basically genetically indistinguishable from the “asiatic horde” invading you.
Begun, the cum wars have.
Reporting for duty, I’ve prepared for this my entire life.
Azov Nazis collecting cum? This was foretold
Azov milk maiden Valkyries are on the horizon…
Ok, hear me out.
Robocop meets Rule 34
Red Army soldier (1922–1942)
The brave soldier running into the battle field to collect his fallen comrade’s cum like
The year is 2045, the Great European Water Wars between the various european ethnostates are raging for nearly a decade now.
Field medics aren’t equipped with any first aid kids, only with a castration device with a built in freezing unit so they can extract as much white cum from their fallen comrades. The captive brood wives are already waiting to be inseminated with warrior cum in the fertility clinics.
Another battalion down, calling Code White, alert Cum Patrol!Your volcel pledge doesn’t end upon death, citizen
:skeleton-guns-akimbo:you want my genes? cum and take it:skeleton-guns-akimbo:
Who remembers Semen Hitler
Imagine sprinting directly into a the aftermath of a russian artillery strike to jack off a corpse lol.
Oh shit! Oh Fuck! Nobody tell Xi! I’m already behind schedule!
Wait, wasn’t this old news already?
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/16/world/europe/ukraine-soldiers-freeze-sperm.html
April 16, 2023
Motherfucker, why didn’t more people make jokes about this before?
That probably didn’t have enough sign ups so this one will be used on people regardless of consent because Ukraine needs to artificially raise their population after war.
Why did they need legislation to let that happen? Did they have to create an exemption for a certain type of necrophilia?
Oh no, can’t believe Anthony Padilla would join the Ukrainian military and the smosh crew would give him a lil Hitler stache to blend in. Truly the darkest timeline. My condolences to the smosh team, I hope they found all his fleshy bits so they can cryogenically freeze him and fix him in the far future so we can see him and Ian get married.
