I am going to be facing a lion in the arena and I need to win.
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YTA! Lion’s house, lion’s rules. Hit a lawyer, get Facebook, drop the gym. This narcissist is a textbook lion; I also choose this man’s stupid prize.
you didn’t mention the “Karen”
Catnip and hakuna matata
I heard once that if you rub the top of a cat’s head with a toothbrush, it’ll calm down.
Well known fact.
Alternatively, it will sit on any passing roomba, according to YouTube.
Bring all the Pokemon.
Poison a gazelle
If you’re fighting a singular male lion on it’s own… They’re not brave without their pack and they’re way more ‘bark’ than bite. It’s just like a black bear, be as big and loud as you can. Do not ever run, this triggers an instinctual urge to chase. Alone in the face of a fight it’s not sure it can win, the Lion will want to run though. That will just buy you time, closing the gap and actually winning the fight will depend on circumstances, but you can get the upper hand in a lot of ways.
Whatever happens, be thankful you’re not fighting a Tiger.
I’ll just wrestle it to the ground and bite its neck (I’m a vampire)
rookie vampire mistake. Just summon in a swarm of wolves and mist-form away whenever the lion gets close. Maybe shoot some of the spectators some beguiling eyes and throw them at the lions too. Once its too full to keep moving, then deliver the coup de grace.
You just gotta go pspspspsps
Shouldn’t it be the reverse? Ƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨq?
Lick it on the head to confuse it.
Can you choose your weapons?
In that case, choose either a boar spear, or an Atchisson AA-12, depending on your era.Talk over and faster than it. Make up scientific studies to sound credible.
Be Batman, have prep time.
Only reported to work with lion dens, but might be extended to arenas as well.
Pray to the god of Daniel and be without sin before the face of god and the king. (DANIEL 6, 13)
Be an elephant.
Instructions unclear, now I’m a snake
Gun
Get a really big laser pointer to distract it
They have sensitive noses but they can’t be stopped mid charge and likely won’t be deterred by peeing in their face. Maintaining eye contact will make them slightly more hesitant but also angry.
They swipe harder and faster than Mike Tyson in his prime, but if it’s a show lion it might be suffering from lifelong narcotics addiction so at least you’ve got that going for you. The bite force is enough to sever your limbs so never let it grab you.
TLDR Stay away but don’t run, try to hit it’s nose but never get near its face.
