These couches are hostile furnishings for the home. Designed with a center console that acts as a physical barrier between you and The Wife™. Complete with cup holders, motorized reclining action, and a storage compartment where you can keep your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition collection.
There is no space on this couch for any form of physical intimacy.
If your the kind of guy who fucks in a car, you can’t afford these couches, nor would you want to, far better couches for fucking on. This couch was designed by sexless foot ball watchers. They were designed for kings of queens. For Raymonds who everyone loves. There is no big bang theory in this house. Just desperate house wives living on love island, an ocean and two cup holders between them and their spouse.
This is great poetry
even works as a site tagline.
Nothing would please me more then to be in the tag line rotation. Submitting it to !bestofhexbear@hexbear.net myself would be presumptuous I think.
DON’T PRESUME MY FINANCIAL STATUS BECAUSE I LIKE FUCKING IN CARS