I mean, yeah? Is that really so bad. I guess it depends what the intent was. The town I grew up in was pretty tame, and the room I’d get locked in without food or water if I’d misbehaved had books
I mean, yeah? Is that really so bad. I guess it depends what the intent was. The town I grew up in was pretty tame, and the room I’d get locked in without food or water if I’d misbehaved had books
I was locked outside of the house for long periods of time and had to drink from the garden hose / garden faucet, and pee in the bushes. We also had like 10+ apple trees. It wasn’t that bad. A bit boring sometimes.
But that’s because it was outside and I could get my needs covered and meet friends.
Locked inside without these needs covered for extended periods is a lot worse in my opinion. Even cats and dogs have those needs covered.
It’s also about the lack of freedom when locked inside.
I would not treat my own children like I was treated, and especially not like you were.
Yeah, I just remember it being boring too. I’m also not really a person who can’t go a few hours without water, so I never felt I was being neglected.
I dont think I’d lock my kid indoors, but I do admit that when it happened to me after I’d been fighting my siblings or something, it was just treated as a time where I would chill out and read a book to wind down. Once dinner was ready, I’d get called for dinner, and everything seemed normal.
So I’d probably try to create a cool down zone with my kids if I ever have them, maybe a comfy chair they’re not allowed to leave for a few hours?
I agree that “people should have access to clean water”. Let’s not confuse sending a child to their room to wind down when they’re throwing a fit with torture.
No one takes harm from lack of water in a mild climate over the course of a couple hours. The reason it’s bad to lock a kid in the basement (or any other room) is that you’re taking away their freedom (which may be, to some point, justified and correct) and potentially making it harder for them to trust you. However, kids also need to learn that there are limits to how you can behave, and consequences for breaking those limits. Where the limit between “reasonable consequences for teaching children” and “trust-breaking punishment” lies is a fair discussion to have. No need to pull “locking a kid in their room is torture” into it.
I don’t think it counts as locking them away without food or water if they don’t become thirsty or hungry while grounded. Grounding my son for an hour, technically he has no water or food, but if he asked for it I’d give it to him.
Exactly “locking away without food or water” makes it sound like the time perspective we’re talking about is long enough that access to food and water are necessary within that time span.
I would say you should never lock away a kid for so long that they need access to food and water at all.
No, that’s mostly fair, and it wasn’t my point to state that sending a kid to their room equals torture. But I hope you can understand that witholding water is not a good thing, ever. Kids might not express (or fleven feel) the thirst. And that can definitely be a bad thing. Take into account possible emotions that involve crying or just warm weather etc. and they could easily get dehydrated. Losing just a few % of bodyweight water can be negatively impacting already.
We seem to agree here: I’m by no means advocating that you should ever explicitly withhold water from a thirsty kid. I just think a lot of people here have gone over-the-top regarding how horrible it is to send a kid to their room without putting a bottle of water in there first. It’s not like feeling thirsty for a bit or getting slightly dehydrated is in any way detrimental to anyone’s health. People get thirsty and lightly dehydrated all the time, either on hiking trips or because they forgot to bring water for something that lasts a while.
The important thing, as I see it, is that you never put the kid in a situation where they honestly begin to doubt whether you care about their well-being and are going to look after them.
Dude no! Like a 15 minute time out is ok. But if they ask for water they should be given it. Locked away alone in a room without supervision for hours? No. That is not normal. At all.
Standing in the corner doing nothing probably won’t work well, but sitting in a chair with a book and an expectation to talk about it after might. Giving them stim toys like fidget spinners could also work. The idea is you want them to calm down.
The only acceptable intent would be something like saving your child from a murderer assaulting your family and there not being enough time for supplies.
I mean, yeah? Is that really so bad. I guess it depends what the intent was. The town I grew up in was pretty tame, and the room I’d get locked in without food or water if I’d misbehaved had books
Average lemmy.ml user be like:
Today you are learning it’s not normal to lock children away with no food or water.
yes, that is a form of child abuse
I was locked outside of the house for long periods of time and had to drink from the garden hose / garden faucet, and pee in the bushes. We also had like 10+ apple trees. It wasn’t that bad. A bit boring sometimes.
But that’s because it was outside and I could get my needs covered and meet friends.
Locked inside without these needs covered for extended periods is a lot worse in my opinion. Even cats and dogs have those needs covered.
It’s also about the lack of freedom when locked inside.
I would not treat my own children like I was treated, and especially not like you were.
Yeah, I just remember it being boring too. I’m also not really a person who can’t go a few hours without water, so I never felt I was being neglected.
I dont think I’d lock my kid indoors, but I do admit that when it happened to me after I’d been fighting my siblings or something, it was just treated as a time where I would chill out and read a book to wind down. Once dinner was ready, I’d get called for dinner, and everything seemed normal.
So I’d probably try to create a cool down zone with my kids if I ever have them, maybe a comfy chair they’re not allowed to leave for a few hours?
Children (humans) should always have access to clean water. That is not normal in the slightest. A time out shouldn’t include torture.
I agree that “people should have access to clean water”. Let’s not confuse sending a child to their room to wind down when they’re throwing a fit with torture.
No one takes harm from lack of water in a mild climate over the course of a couple hours. The reason it’s bad to lock a kid in the basement (or any other room) is that you’re taking away their freedom (which may be, to some point, justified and correct) and potentially making it harder for them to trust you. However, kids also need to learn that there are limits to how you can behave, and consequences for breaking those limits. Where the limit between “reasonable consequences for teaching children” and “trust-breaking punishment” lies is a fair discussion to have. No need to pull “locking a kid in their room is torture” into it.
I don’t think it counts as locking them away without food or water if they don’t become thirsty or hungry while grounded. Grounding my son for an hour, technically he has no water or food, but if he asked for it I’d give it to him.
Exactly “locking away without food or water” makes it sound like the time perspective we’re talking about is long enough that access to food and water are necessary within that time span.
I would say you should never lock away a kid for so long that they need access to food and water at all.
No, that’s mostly fair, and it wasn’t my point to state that sending a kid to their room equals torture. But I hope you can understand that witholding water is not a good thing, ever. Kids might not express (or fleven feel) the thirst. And that can definitely be a bad thing. Take into account possible emotions that involve crying or just warm weather etc. and they could easily get dehydrated. Losing just a few % of bodyweight water can be negatively impacting already.
We seem to agree here: I’m by no means advocating that you should ever explicitly withhold water from a thirsty kid. I just think a lot of people here have gone over-the-top regarding how horrible it is to send a kid to their room without putting a bottle of water in there first. It’s not like feeling thirsty for a bit or getting slightly dehydrated is in any way detrimental to anyone’s health. People get thirsty and lightly dehydrated all the time, either on hiking trips or because they forgot to bring water for something that lasts a while.
The important thing, as I see it, is that you never put the kid in a situation where they honestly begin to doubt whether you care about their well-being and are going to look after them.
I think your last alinea puts it very well.
I think how rough the punishment is really depends on how long you strand the child for
half a day seems like peanuts though – though I guess it really does depend how the kid feels about it
Dude no! Like a 15 minute time out is ok. But if they ask for water they should be given it. Locked away alone in a room without supervision for hours? No. That is not normal. At all.
Locked in a room or locked out of the house? That is not okay, regardless of how long it is.
I think they meant standing in the corner or sitting in a chair for the duration of the timeout
Tbh I think even such a thing is not that great for children. Certainly not traumatic or close to it, but just not very effective I would guess.
Standing in the corner doing nothing probably won’t work well, but sitting in a chair with a book and an expectation to talk about it after might. Giving them stim toys like fidget spinners could also work. The idea is you want them to calm down.
Please dont ever have children. This is sick.
The only acceptable intent would be something like saving your child from a murderer assaulting your family and there not being enough time for supplies.