CW: transphobia

Hello lovely ladies and friends, because of my situation I am basically forced to not be able to transition in any realistic capacity for the foreseeable future. I’m not exactly closeted but I live with very religious family members that would for sure get rid of me if I did try to transition. They already tried when they found out looking through my laptop.

I’ve accepted myself almost 3 years ago now but it’s seeming more and more that she will never show herself. My current situation also prevents any odds of me moving out.

The only person I could be myself around irl we stopped talking due to issues and now I feel completely lost.

With that all said, what exactly can I do to let myself show as I so desperately want but cannot have?

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.netEnglish
    15·
    1 year ago

    Find a support group or friends that will allow you be yourself allow them. Bottling it all up and hiding it sucks and can make you feel worse over time. Even if it can’t be your family, you need a safe space to be who you are.

      • SentinianOPEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        That’s not possible currently. The only IRL friend I’m out to that I still have lives in the middle of nowhere now

  • Konlanx@feddit.de
    11·
    1 year ago

    I don’t know if that helps you, but a tip for your laptop:

    Create a new partition and use VeraCrypt to encrypt it. Use a long, randomly generated password for it. It’s nearly impossible (read: for your family absolutely impossible) to crack and you can install a browser there and chat tools and save images and stuff like that. This might give you some privacy and help you to explore yourself.

    Sorry I can’t help on the actual topic, I found this thread on my frontpage and I don’t know how to deal with your actual situation, but I know things about computers and privacy.

    Some tutorial on it: https://gist.github.com/ImaginativeShohag/6dca147f85c1ef4219b6be47e54fa287

    • SentinianOPEnglish
      8·
      1 year ago

      Thanks for this. I’ve been planning to do a battery and nvme swap in my laptop so I’ll add this to the list when I do that

      • BongRipsMcGee420@lemmy.world
        2·
        1 year ago

        Better late than never, and it’s not even that late. Good old r/translater had people posting that started in their 50s and looked amazing

    • SentinianOPEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      Never too late is one thing but I tend to struggle moreso with the existence of something I cannot reach

      • BongRipsMcGee420@lemmy.world
        1·
        1 year ago

        I completely understand and I’m not sure of your particular situation, but you might find your current roadblocks removed at some point from a move or other life event. Once you get a straight bit of pavement just shove that gas pedal through the floor!