It seems like, that the longer I am aware of me being trans I keep unlocking new forms of Dysphoria. I never really had any problems with my deadname, but now it does hurt a little bit when hearing it from other people, because im not officially out to them. Today I also realised that apparently I know hate seeing hairs on my arms, which was never a problem before. Hearing my voice also gets progressively worse. What the fuck is this? Why cant I not feel shittier as time goes on. I am on my way to transition, my body could decide to not make my life shit in the process.
It definitely morphs and changes over time.
I used to never have any dysphoria from having a beard.
Later, the slight hair growth I got in between laser sessions made me feel hopeless.
Now, I don’t love my facial hair but also feel sort of good at being more visibly trans when my facial hair is having its bad/intense days.
It’s also common for folks to not have genital dysphoria for a long time, only developing it years into transition when everything else is dealt with.
I wonder if your brain is finally accepting that things will change and the impatience is manifesting as dysphoria.
I hope it gets better soon!