Well, obviously I’m not currently in receipt of it due to my appeal, but still. When I first started claiming, people were often rude and insulting towards me because of it, but as my illness progressed and I pretty much withdrew from the world, I thought at least I wouldn’t have to listen to it any more. But today I’m even getting it at home from my landlady.
She gave her daughter £20K for a house deposit last year. She couldn’t afford it, she put it on a credit card, at least most of it. Now she’s in debt and complains about it constantly. She sucks up to her daughter and then takes her frustrations out on me. Just now she was on the phone to her daughter, and her daughter was telling her about how she has a holiday planned, after just coming back from abroad, and has just bought a new expensive bike, and been out partying, etc, all kinds of expensive things. And my landlady was cooing “Ooh how lovely!” and acting all nice about it.
As soon as she got off the phone, she started angrily having a go at me, saying when my benefits are reinstated and I’ve paid off the rent debt that’s racking up, she’s putting my rent up by 50% as she needs the money. I didn’t feel this was fair and said it’s not my fault she’s in debt, she shouldn’t have given her daughter £20K if she couldn’t afford it. She started yelling, “She needs a house, and she works for her money! You don’t even work for yours!”
And talking about how it’s her money anyway as she used to be a taxpayer and my benefits come out of taxes. Well, I used to be a taxpayer too before becoming disabled.
It sounds pathetic but I feel like crying now. I’ve got no-one to talk to in real life. I haven’t spoken to anyone but my horrid landlady, medical staff and delivery drivers in years. It just drives home that everyone from the DWP to the government to the general public thinks I’m undeserving of even the basic necessities of life and a burden to everyone. They act like benefit claimants are living it up, having a wonderful time, when the reality is reassessments on average every 2 years for me, appeals, and having to beg for every little thing.
If it wasn’t for this site I would have ended it by now, this is the only place I have for friendship, emotional support and financial help. But even here I have to repost over and over on mutual aid when I need something, wondering if I’ll be able to get the things I need. And forget ever having anything just for fun or pleasure, or to make life worthwhile, that’s a distant dream. I try to convince myself that I’ll get my benefits reinstated and then I’ll be able to do the online art course I want to take and join the Order of Druids, but in reality who knows if I’ll win my appeal or if I’ll even by able to do anything after a 50% rent increase.
I don’t understand why they won’t just legalise assisted suicide for the disabled, nobody wants us anyway. And I hate those stupid cancer adverts for macmillan and cancer research, showing cancer patients surrounded by caring loved ones, showered with support and given all the help they need. It’s not like that at all. At first people are shocked by your diagnosis and sympathetic but as your illness wears on and you get worse people get tired of you and can’t be bothered with you any more. The country doesn’t want to pay for you, the NHS waiting list is a million years long so your condition ends up worse than it had to be, and everyone treats you like scum because you don’t work any more.
And I get blamed for my landlady’s debt, just like the disabled in general get blamed for the country’s debt. The disabled are accused of bankrupting the country with the benefits bill while MPs give themselves a payrise. I get told my benefits aren’t my money anyway and that I’ll have to pay more while my landlady almost bankrupted herself by giving her daughter a house deposit and wasting a fortune on horses and her estranged husband’s nonsense (don’t even get me started on that, it’s an absolutely infuriating story.)
The daughter might work for her money but she also has a life, fun, holidays, family and friends. They act like I’m so lucky I get “free money” from other people, but what has that cost me? It’s cost my life - I have nothing worthwhile, no fun, no friends, no freedom and nothing to look forward to. And everyone treats me like something they found on the bottom of their shoe - I have no other use to society so I might as well be used as society’s punchbag.
I try so hard to find things to live for but at moments like this I wonder why I even bother.
The absolute gall of a landlady to go off on anyone for not working for their income.
😡😡😡
For making anyone feel like they are undeserving of their benefits thit she just leeches away to blow on stupid shit.
The merciful Lenin would have her shot.
At this point, I would pull the trigger. And for blowing it on shit, until my benefits were stopped and I was paying rent, the day after every rent day she would always get a huge delivery of loads of amazon boxes. She really was blowing the rent I paid on stupid shit and then complains she has no money.
And talking about how it’s her money anyway as she used to be a taxpayer and my benefits come out of taxes. Well, I used to be a taxpayer too before becoming disabled.
You already gave the retort, I’d just add: we all agreed to pay taxes to be diverted for various issues. Social security is a prime example in the US. We pay it out to existing retirees with the expectation it will be paid out to us when we retire as well.
You paid your taxes already when you were able-bodied with the expectation it would go to things you’d need and as insurance. Your landlady is essentially making the argument you should have to pay into insurance, but not get the payout when it’s your turn. That’s complete nonsense. If your landlady has car insurance, should her provider deny her coverage if someone else totals her car in an accident?
People get upset when the disabled are claiming part of a system we or our families paid into. They can fuck right off and I’m taking my NEETbux regardless of how they feel about it.
You paid your taxes already when you were able-bodied with the expectation it would go to things you’d need and as insurance.
This is what baffles me about society. When people criticise me for taking benefits, and I point out I spent 16 years working first, they don’t care. They still treat me like scum. But these same people use the NHS, claim pensions and whatever else they can get and say “I paid in, so I deserve it!” They always think they are the deserving case but everyone else should go without. I’ve even had multiple people, including my own pharmacist, accuse me of being a drain on NHS resources. Multiple people have told me I should stop taking my free prescriptions and pay for my own meds. With what? But they will happily use the NHS for all kinds of nonsense and take free prescriptions themselves.
She needs to serve you a Section 13 notice to formally raise the rent, and you are able to challenge it in the property tribunal if you believe it is unfair. A 50% raise definitely sounds unfair.
Thanks for the advice and I’ll consider it for the future but right now I don’t want to piss her off as until my benefits are reinstated I can’t go anywhere else except maybe a homeless shelter and I don’t want to end up there.
This is so horrendous… I am so sorry! :(( truly awful and disgusting (hug)
Thank you.
I’m tangentially involved in something like this now. I can’t get over how fucking ableist and sociopathic the average Westoid is. It’s gotta be extra so for landlords. I do believe the West needs some sort of cultural revolution in order to make our societies function somewhat in the future.
Comrade, I’m so sorry. I don’t doubt a word for what you’re saying for a moment.
Thank you.
Complains that it’s not your money.
Is a landlord. Blows the money that’s not hers either by her own logic on dumb shit.
Comrade, I hope your landlady sits her ass on a sharp stick. In a just world she’d be punished and reeducated for her extreme misanthropy.
we can but dream.
landlady sounds very self-involvedShe’s the absolutely typical boomer. The whole world revolves around her, and nothing is ever her fault, including the stupid financial mess she has gotten herself into with years of irresponsible behaviour.
Gotta start with the basics, she is brit*sh
Hope your benefit stuff gets through stupid review
Thank you.
i hope your landlady suffers the slowest, most painful death you can imagine
I am in a similar situation and I want to express solidarity with you. I know what it is like to feel like society’s punching bag who is made to feel like sub-human trash.
Thank you. Solidarity means a lot to me.
I’m so sorry. I wish I can help. 🫂
Thank you.
I didn’t do anything but commiserate. You’re welcome, anyway.
Are there other disabled people around you could try to make friends with?
I have some friends who are also disabled, autistic, trans, and communist and it’s so good to be around others who fucking get it
I’ve been pretty much housebound. I’ve had multiple foot surgeries and have another coming up and also repeated debilitating injuries down my left side because I’ve had a stroke. I’ve just recently started being able to walk enough to go into a shop to get a few items. Can’t walk more than that now. Also very tired and brain foggy from cancer treatment and I look awful which makes it embarrassing to meet people. I’m just not up to a social life right now.
Ugh, I’m so sorry this is all happening at once, love. You paid your dues and then some, nothing that old bag says is remotely accurate. She’s using you as an emotional outlet and it’s completely selfish and unfair. You don’t deserve to be made to feel like a burden, because you aren’t, even when the system and its arseholes like landlady turn to blaming the underprivileged like some talking point scapegoat. It sucks, and I’m so sorry it’s been so hard. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to have to just deal with it with the constant threat of homelessness along with her bullshit whims. You deserve love and support, without strings or duress. Sending you hugs, comrade. Know that there are people out in the world who care about you and wish for your happiness and safety.
Thank you! She does use me as her emotional punch bag. I’m so grateful to at least have friends like you on here though.
Hey, you need a hug. I am sorry you’re being pinched for cash. Can you afford the upcoming hike? Can you re-budget to make it work?
A lot of people feel like disabled individuals are a burden. Disabled people feel like a burden. People get stacked with situations they have to handle. Clearly your landlady is stacked with one. Also the more people get squeezed, the less compassion they have as a whole. If you can, I would suggest you either save your money or figure out a way to increase your income. I know nothing of your country though. I am just suggesting as a safety net you can utilize pending you find yourself in a horrible situation. This might sound rough, and it sounds like it’s hard to find another place to rent, but perhaps look into that if you cannot agree to her standards. Maybe even a room? I am not sure what kind of access you need though. Otherwise, just be cordial enough to get through. Many do not do emotional please, they don’t really care about emotions as a whole. So it’s useless to utilize.
Outside of that, if you can plausibly remove yourself from some of the negative media you’re taking in. Try to find some peace for your own soul. Even if you’re in incredible amounts of pain, try to find a way to give yourself kindness. It doesn’t have to come in the form of food. Or buying things, really at all. Just perhaps picking up a small hobby you can enjoy. I am not sure where the resources are online, but there might be a support group you can join. Likewise, not sure what is available in your area but you might be able to find someone who can help emotionally support you and meet you at a sustainable level to your income.
I am not sure if any of this helps, but just try your best to give yourself a little fresh air from time to time (even if it’s from a window), eat as best as you can (even if it’s all crap - eat the best crap you can), and try to de-escalate your pain through self-kindness.
Drink water!
Hugs!
You bother, because you are. When you’re not, you won’t bother. Just keep bothering, because you’re worth bothering over.
save your money or figure out a way to increase your income
Fun fact: as a disabled person receiving benefits, you’re not allowed to do either of these!
Any increase to your income will result in your benefits being reduced by the same amount up to a point at which your benefits will be suspended. In the US for example, your maximum savings is $2000, including the value of all your assets and even and assets.
Disabled people are not allowed to own anything and are effectively banned from getting married as a result. There is no safety net, and you’re barred from making your own.
You can get money under the table in the US pretty easily. You can also work a certain number of hours and still be okay for benefits. I don’t have jack to say. I’ve known tons of people who’ve gotten on. Nobody lives well as a low-income individual but making the best out of something over diving into the misery of a tough situation is absolute nonsense.
I can’t budget because I don’t have any income at all, my disability benefits were stopped and I’m going through appeal. I’m falling further and further into rent arrears, and have to beg on mutual aid here for food and whatever else I need. There isn’t any money to save, and i can’t move because of that. I can hardly say to a new landlord “I have no money and can’t pay rent but let me live here anyway.” My landlady only allows me to continue to live here because if she throws me out, she’s worried she’ll never see me again and then won’t be paid the rent arrears if I win my disability appeal.
As for hobbies, as I said, there are thing I’m interested in doing, but things cost money and I have none. As the previous poster said, disability claimants aren’t allowed to earn money. I am allowed to receive monetary gifts under a certain amount, but even then if I win my appeal they’ll go through my accounts and I’ll have to explain everything.
The government makes living as a disabled person as precarious and difficult as possible, because society hates people who don’t work and they vote for this.
This might sound awful, but if you have contact with any family or former close friends it might be time to contact them. Likewise check in with shelters in the area. I am not sure of your gender identity, but they’re usually separated by such. Not all things that are hobbies cost money, believe it or not. In America, you can be on disability and work. So that’s why I am not entirely clear of the ins and outs of your system. It was just a suggestion. Likewise, there are ways to work without claiming the cash. Is all I am saying. I am not saying that disabled people should get out there, I am saying this world is cruel and finding ways to negate this help in times of crisis in my opinion. I can’t force you to do anything. I know nothing of the systems you are navigating. Society doesn’t hate people who don’t work. Society hates people, period. I mean most people. To be honest. I think it’s due to a lot of cruelty that we have developed in waves en masse against people who are different in any way shape or form. It seems like the people who get to the top are the ones who can play this system. Everyone else is a disaster away from a fall.
I am not sure how you’re accessing this, and I don’t know what programs you have - but if you can get a free phone - I’d get one now. I am not sure why your benefits were stopped, but I’d try and be in someone’s asshole about that. Outside of that, you might want to start writing, is what I was going to suggest. Not to the world (unless you want to) but instead organizing your thoughts and creating a series of plans from worst-case to best-case and try and execute best-case first and if that’s off the table keep going until worst case. Because you don’t want to be another person with a disability on the street. Exposed living is rough.
Fuck the hobbies though, if you’re about to lose your housing. Just focus on getting safe from there. But do try at some point if and when you are safe to integrate a hobby. It really can be zero-cost if you choose something light. I express this as a means to find joy, and reprieve from daily pains. Finding a support group really might help as well. Because when you’re in pain, you feel like the only human alive going through your experience. We’ve all got our something though. GL! You’re gunna be okay, just don’t quit even if it’s the hard stuff. Tell people what you need. Make your needs reasonable. Communication (firm communication) is key, especially if it’s between you and the streets. Your landlady is not sympathetic. TBH, I think she should be the last to know about anything. Stay in people’s minds when fixing things. You can be one of two things from my time in shitty situations: A pleasure, or an awful pain. Pick one. People will help sweet people, because it’ll be a story of triumph amongst the misery. People will also help shitheads, because they want to get them as far away as possible from their existence. That means processing them fast, and getting them to be someone else’s problem. I’ve got nothing else but to say good luck (again, cause it takes it). Just get out there (metaphorically or literally) and do what you need to do in order to keep yourself safe.
