DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them]

Partially sighted stroke and cancer patient, learning to walk again, going through months of foot surgeries. Fighting a disability benefit appeal. I won my last appeal just 2 years ago and am now going through yet another one. All I want is peaceful, painless assisted suicide.

  • 329 Posts
  • 694 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: September 21st, 2024

help-circle





















  • I feel like I am mostly a misanthrope. The reason being that most people have treated me absolutely abysmally. My own parents violently assaulted me to the extreme as a child and didn’t feed me to the point I developed serious illness that has had lifelong repercussions. No adult intervened to help me, despite me asking for help. Then abandoned me before I was even an adult. Then I worked for years, a hard job but was paid barely enough to survive by society to the point I had to live in terrible conditions with no security, in dangerous places where I ended up being assaulted by various people. And the police not only did nothing to bring the offenders to justice but even blamed me for the attacks - for instance saying I’d brought it on myself by my clothing style (wearing a heavy metal T-shirt). Then when I became too ill and disabled to work, I find myself in a situation where the government reassesses me for disability benefits far too frequently, awards me zero points for no reason and stops my benefits so I have to beg to survive. Then the people in charge of the social safety nets like food banks, are shit. The packages they give are useless, mostly drinks and junk food, they’re often closed and when my cancer treatment caused me to develop food intolerances and I explained these food intolerances to a food bank worker and asked for food that won’t aggravate it, he got angry, accused me of being a choosing beggar and refused to serve me at all. Then when I turned to Christian organisations for food aid they refused to help, told me to sort my own problems out and said that people shouldn’t even get disability benefits at all because it’s socialism. This is all just the tip of the iceberg.

    On top of this I have been let down by doctors every step of the way. it took nearly four years to get my cancer diagnosed because they refused to do any tests, telling me I was a hypochondriac, or just depressed. During this time I suffered immensely and was treated like lazy garbage by everyone. Since then it’s been an endless catalogue of struggling and failing to get the medical help I need, being rudely dismissed by medical staff and treated like crap because they just don’t care. My local pharmacist even complained that my prescriptions cost the NHS too much money.

    Hexbear/lemmy is the only place people have treated me with decency and actually helped, and yet even in these places I’ve had nasty people do things like promise help and not deliver, string me along for weeks or months with talk of the help they’re going to send and then just ghost me, and one person on lemmy sent me multiple messages telling me that it doesn’t matter what happens to me, whether I end up homeless on the streets while ill, and giving me helpful suggestions on how to commit suicide.

    Even my landlady doesn’t give a fuck about me, she only lets me live here because I hope to get my disability benefit reinstated and when I do I’ll owe her a load of money and she wants it. But she is awful to live with, for instance I suffer severe migraines, aggravated by scents and she just won’t stop spraying scented shit around even though it’s unnecessary and I beg her not to.

    Also a ton of sexual harrassment and being treated like crap because of my asexuality, people refusing to accept it’s real and trying to bully me into sexual/romantic relationships, and an incident where I was publicly shamed and humiliated in a cafe full of people by an old man I know because of my asexuality, and then laughed at by the entire cafe.

    On top of all this society in general has no sympathy and won’t listen, whenever I’ve talked about this online I’ve been told there is “so much help available” and my situation is my own fault for not accessing it, and having to listen endlessly to how it’s too easy to claim benefits and it must be made harder because it’s so unfair for workers to pay for us lazy dole scum. Yet, are we allowed to access assisted suicide? No. Society won’t feed me or care for me, yet also does everything it can to make sure I still exist, suffering endlessly.

    Humanity also very much has a “kick you when you’re down,” mentality. The lower my life has sunk, the worse I’ve been treated by most people. So sorry, yes I’m a misanthrope because in my experience most of humanity is terrible. If that makes me a repulsive person, so be it.