Thank you!

They aren’t the first to do this by a long shot, but they’ve kept going the longest by far.

Thanks, if they write back maybe I’ll tell them their behaviour is upsetting.

I will.

Yeah I will.

I’m not 100% sure but I think it might have been lemmy.

So happy to hear it!

Yes I do think so, also they way they type is very rambling with barely any punctuation. And it was weird how happy they thought I’d be that instead of sending the promised help, they’d booked a trip here instead.

I will now. I had intended to previously, but you just can’t help hoping they’re genuine and will come through eventually.

Thanks.

I think they never had any intention of helping now. I think the £15 test amazon gift card to see if it worked, was actually just meant to convince me they had genuine intentions of helping. This has been going on since january and it’s almost April now, there’s no reason it would take this long or why they would keep asking “What gift cards do you need?” When I’ve already answered that question 100 times.

I don’t have a life worth living though. I’m in chronic pain, dosed up to the eyeballs on meds with a ton of side effects, can’t even do basic things like walk or dress myself without great difficulty, trapped indoors much of the time due to often being unable to walk for long periods of time, alone, bored, and facing a lifetime of horrible medical treatments and endless poverty as I’ll never be able to work, constantly going through the stress of being reassessed for benefits. It’s an objective fact that this is not a life worth living, I know society loves to push the toxic positivity narrative and try and convince people in situations like this that their lives are worth living but that’s all a lie. If society had a shred of decency, assisted suicide would be available to me, but society likes to virtue signal and pretend they care too much about the disabled to let us die, all the while making it as difficult as possible for us to access the benefits and medical treatment we need.

I am already prescribed loratadine for the allergies but they are getting worse over time. I don’t think benadryl will cut it.

I’ve thought about it and decided not to contact him again. He hasn’t tried to get in contact in 20 years, despite the fact I’m still in the same town and would be easy to find, and now he isn’t responding to me again. He doesn’t want to be friends and hurtful though it is, I’ve come to terms with it. I realise that if I had a life worth living, as he probably does, I wouldn’t be so hung up on reconnecting with old school friends either. There are people from my past that I’m not interested in being friends with, and if one of them contacted me out of the blue like that I’d probably not respond either, and would think it was weird that they had suddenly contacted me for no reason. Now that the mania has died down I see that that is probably how James sees me, and I won’t bother him again. I suppose a more pressing issue is, in the future if this mania returns and I feel like doing something is a good idea when its not, how do I recognise that and stop in time. The mental health services here are awful, I know I’ll get no decent help, it’s barely worth trying and I can’t handle any more medication. I know I’ll get all the side effects. I’ve also recently started becoming allergic to everything so i want to cut my meds down rather than increase them.

Maybe it’s IBS, certain foods aggravate it. Try a low Fodmap diet.

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