Hoy boy you’re digging up some repressed childhood memories here.

So like 25 years ago or so my old childhood Christian church that had a strong focus on missionary work decided to run a children’s play on how cool and good Christian missionaries are and how we should all grow up to be little missionaries in our own little ways.

But it wasn’t good enough to just focus on their own American version of colonialist Christianity during the play, no no no, they just had to made kids dress up in other religion’s fake sterotype outfits, go up to the stage in a line, and a light would fall individually on each kid as they read their memorized lines about how stupid everyone else’s religions are. They wanted every religion shown on stage to be as dumbed down and silly as possible, so I think either gaia worship or paganism was included with a shitty hippy costume. I wish I could remember the name of the play, because it wasn’t just something the pastor’s mom made up on the spot. Nah, it had a whole ass merch line, apparently this was a play our old church bought the rights to. I know this because my youth group got to go to a Christian convention shortly after and vendors were selling books, shirts, and paper advertising for it. If I remember right the advertising had like a fake precious memories art style mixed with 90’s world peace themed cheap looking clip art where everyone smiles and holds hands because Jesus loves them? If you’re a former American Christian maybe you know what I’m talking about, my memory is foggy.

Anyways, now that I’m an adult and can look back just to laugh at this, if anyone could let me know what that church play was called that would be very poggers. I want to look up cursed youtube footage of it to make my partner cringe, ok thanks bye.