The nuance I feel you might be overlooking is your so-called visual aid is just someone else’s hot bod (as much as it is mostly artificial) and it might signal to your partner that you don’t find her physique attractive enough, whereas the use of sex toys or physical aids as you put it would be your partner’s way of signaling that her pleasure is not exclusively centered on your penis or its size. Even in phallic shaped toys designed for penetration, there’s always something else reputable manufacturers include, be it vibration, texture, shape, simultaneous clitoral stimulation, suction, etc. And none of these are meant to substitute your own physique and the intimacy you bring to the table (or the bed, or the couch, or the shower hehe).
I think the poster below makes a good point that toys designed for men such as fleshlights would be a more apt comparison. And the reverse for the example you provide would be something akin to needing the visual aid of Johnny Sins to get off. If we were to talk about getting off during your little lovemaking session by the chemistry and the fantasy on screen in porn - and both parties were ok with and equally excited by it -, then I’d also find no issue with that (albeit, I do think there are healthier ways to go about).
When it comes to sex, it all eventually comes down to communication and respect. And if your boundaries to feeling comfortable draw a line against using sex toys, then that’s you and your partner needs to respect your feelings as well. I just feel like it’s a shame if people are missing out, because their own insecurities equate a dildo or a vibrator (or whatever) to a substitute for your penis, your body, and your active role during sexy times, because they definitely are not.
If the guy has trouble reaching orgasm, sure. But in most straight relationships I’m familiar with it tends to go the other way, where the female partner needs more help to finish.
An e-bike wouldn’t do much for Jonas Vingegaard, but it can be a game changer for someone who struggles with gentle hills.
i dont have a partner, but i am (trying) to get over a porn/masturbation addiction myself right now…it’s…way tougher than it feels like it should be, but then i guess really thinking back it’s an addiction i’v had nearly 15+ years now.
so i guess it’s no surprise some people have that issue continue while being in relationship
Its a much bigger societal problem than people want to admit. Good on you for admitting its an addiction, being aware of negative consequences is a big part of overcoming something. There are support groups for this stuff and it can help to have people who you can talk to that yoy might be embarrassed to talk to friends and family about.
![[Jenny Gorelick] Co-Stars](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/82526c18-e403-4b8c-86fd-80996e8e7229.webp){kind=link}
Wonder how she’d feel if instead of her needing a physical aid, it would be him needing a visual aid.
It’s like, if Mia Khalifa is on your team … Are you mad that she scored more points than you?
The nuance I feel you might be overlooking is your so-called visual aid is just someone else’s hot bod (as much as it is mostly artificial) and it might signal to your partner that you don’t find her physique attractive enough, whereas the use of sex toys or physical aids as you put it would be your partner’s way of signaling that her pleasure is not exclusively centered on your penis or its size. Even in phallic shaped toys designed for penetration, there’s always something else reputable manufacturers include, be it vibration, texture, shape, simultaneous clitoral stimulation, suction, etc. And none of these are meant to substitute your own physique and the intimacy you bring to the table (or the bed, or the couch, or the shower hehe).
I think the poster below makes a good point that toys designed for men such as fleshlights would be a more apt comparison. And the reverse for the example you provide would be something akin to needing the visual aid of Johnny Sins to get off. If we were to talk about getting off during your little lovemaking session by the chemistry and the fantasy on screen in porn - and both parties were ok with and equally excited by it -, then I’d also find no issue with that (albeit, I do think there are healthier ways to go about).
When it comes to sex, it all eventually comes down to communication and respect. And if your boundaries to feeling comfortable draw a line against using sex toys, then that’s you and your partner needs to respect your feelings as well. I just feel like it’s a shame if people are missing out, because their own insecurities equate a dildo or a vibrator (or whatever) to a substitute for your penis, your body, and your active role during sexy times, because they definitely are not.
If the guy has trouble reaching orgasm, sure. But in most straight relationships I’m familiar with it tends to go the other way, where the female partner needs more help to finish.
An e-bike wouldn’t do much for Jonas Vingegaard, but it can be a game changer for someone who struggles with gentle hills.
So because it doesn’t happen to you, it doesn’t happen to anyone. Ok.
It’s probably a little bit rarer than the other way around, but male anorgasmia exists especially as men get older.
But as usual, male feelings and sexual problems are ridiculed and swept under the rug as unimportant.
they are different senses, doesn’t really work as an analogy
a super tight fleshlight would probably work better, which can also vibrate
It works just fine. Men tend to be more visually oriented, for women the physical part is often the limiting factor to reach a climax.
In both cases something external is added to get over the other party’s “inadequacies”.
Dont even need that, plenty of dudes have issues where they prefer porn and masturbation to intimacy with their partner.
i dont have a partner, but i am (trying) to get over a porn/masturbation addiction myself right now…it’s…way tougher than it feels like it should be, but then i guess really thinking back it’s an addiction i’v had nearly 15+ years now.
so i guess it’s no surprise some people have that issue continue while being in relationship
Its a much bigger societal problem than people want to admit. Good on you for admitting its an addiction, being aware of negative consequences is a big part of overcoming something. There are support groups for this stuff and it can help to have people who you can talk to that yoy might be embarrassed to talk to friends and family about.