This isn’t a standard for moderation, nor was it moderated out of line. It’s a human interaction, and each of them are unique situations, dealt with by mods who aren’t a hive mind.

The point is that it should be clear when somebody is telling you to disengage and leave them alone. If you have to even think about whether or not they are requesting that you disengage with them, completely outside of my capacity as a moderator, I’d recommend you simply stop engaging at that point. At the very least you are wasting your own time. Likewise, if you think you’ve asked earnestly and didn’t receive a disengagement, you can ask the mods by reporting the questionable content post-disengagement request and giving the additional info.