Lemmy.one
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 13 hours ago

Alternatively... bidet

lemmy.dbzer0.com

message-square
33
fedilink
244

Alternatively... bidet

lemmy.dbzer0.com

Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 13 hours ago
message-square
33
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • shalafi@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    3 hours ago

    Horror story:

    Shaved mine in prep for my first colonoscopy. I know, they see some nasty shit, don’t know why I cared. Took TWO bottles of the lemon flavored ass blaster juice.

    Ended up holding my ass cheeks apart and screaming at my ex-wife, “Get the neighbor! GET THE NEIGHBOR!” Said neighbor was a nurse but I was in such agony I couldn’t think of her name.

    Halfway down my ass cheeks, and all the way down from there, my flesh looked sandpapered, sunburned. Pain doesn’t make me cry, but my eyes were plenty blurry that night.

    And I still had to shit more lemon juice. Try not to think on this story.

  • (des)mosthenes@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    2 hours ago

    bidets or water solve this too

  • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    9 hours ago

    All fun and games until you try and let a sneaky one rip in public

  • Shortstack@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    58
    ·
    edit-2
    11 hours ago

    I did this once

    The feeling of sweaty aka slippery butt cheeks in summer while walking to class and worst of all climbing stairs was too much. And let’s not forget that farts have a to physically separate your cheeks to escape. Too much weird feeling.

    Never again

    Now I let my butthole grow some hair but keep it trimmed low because I’m not a heathen

    • DeletesItLater@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      10 hours ago

      I’m pretty sure this is where the term “butt trumpet” came from.

  • Coopr8@kbin.earth
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    7 hours ago

    I have been tempted to try IPL hair removal myself

    • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 hours ago

      I love my at home hair removal thingy, these work!

    • Estiar@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 hours ago

      It’s a good idea if you have the right sort of skin tone. IPL works best on people with light skin and dark hair, but it might work on other combinations as well. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work very well on dark skinned people

  • Bring_Back_Buggy_Whips@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    ·
    11 hours ago

    I tried shaving my asshole but he ran away and never came back.

  • UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    72
    ·
    12 hours ago

    Just get a damn bidet. Life changing.

    • Manjushri@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      12 hours ago

      Yep. Take just it from Matt Damon and Alan Tudyk

      • commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        24
        ·
        12 hours ago

        Take just it

        I don’t know where they keep theirs. I’ll probably need to just get my own.

        • winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          11 hours ago

          Check their toilets

    • BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      9 hours ago

      Not all poops occur at home.

      • UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        3 hours ago

        Travel bidet. I know of two co-workers who bring one to work daily. Think squeeze bottle with a long straw.

  • hOrni@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    45
    ·
    11 hours ago

    Wait 2 days, till it starts growing back.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    48
    ·
    12 hours ago

    This is why three seashells are superior to TP.

    • EbenezerScrew@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      11 hours ago

      Stop trying to push your BS Dr. Cocteau.

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        8 hours ago

        HAH! He doesn’t know what the seashells are for!

  • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    10 hours ago

    Shaving can be… bad: https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html

    • Maestro@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      8 hours ago

      Came looking for exactly that epic story 😄

  • Mose13@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    11 hours ago

    Bidet is the way

  • Marty_TF@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    12 hours ago

    fr tho, from personal experience shaving ur arsehole is a fucking blessing

    • oneser@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      37
      ·
      12 hours ago

      I could not imagine the regrowth itch from that being part of the blessed experience?

      • Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        22
        ·
        11 hours ago

        There simply is none if you do it regularly, at least for me.

      • Marty_TF@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        8 hours ago

        that is 100% true.

        but since i found that i actually enjoy all my body hair being off, i just shave everything 1-2 times a week.

        except my beard. gotta have something to remain dwarven.

      • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        9 hours ago

        As someone with a lot of experience shaving body hair, if you do it regularly it’s fine. If you do it every once in a while, that’s where it gets itchy. Tbh armpits get the itchiest regrowth, for me anyway.

      • AstralPath@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        11 hours ago

        A truly brutal experience I’ll never revisit.

  • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    10 hours ago

    Nair bikini on ur butthole. It will change ur life.

    Yall ever fucked with an aerodynamic anus before???

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      3 hours ago

      Nair feels like getting the shit chemically burned off. I’ll shave with cream and a blindfold before ever doing that again.

      I don’t care how silky the hole is. I would rather do gymist poses in the mirror.

  • CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    10 hours ago

    I eat a lot of fibre; makes the cleaning part a lot easier.

    But these hairs that we have a fetish for removing are functional for our health and comfort, to varying degrees.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 hours ago

      I take a monster shot of psyllium husk everyday. Hardly anything to wipe and my shit no longer stinks.

  • chocrates@piefed.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    11 hours ago

    If you shave your ass you chafe like fucking crazy.

Funny@sh.itjust.works

funny@sh.itjust.works

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !funny@sh.itjust.works

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don’t post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 3.17K users / day
  • 6.17K users / week
  • 8.61K users / month
  • 16.9K users / 6 months
  • 62 local subscribers
  • 11.9K subscribers
  • 2.25K Posts
  • 42.5K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • TheDude@sh.itjust.works
  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works
  • example@reddthat.com
  • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works
  • BE: 0.19.7
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org