So, yeah. Omg. I have a medical procedure coming up tomorrow that is supposed to be a walk in the park, but I am just incredibly nervous and apprehensive about it.
A huge personal rant about healthcare, past experiences etc.
I feel like I am almost at the point of cancelling it, because it is for these varicose veins in my calf that have been there for years (ever since I had a kid) and not gotten much worse even though I’ve done years of powerlifting and jobs with a lot of sitting or standing. The only reason I now have the opportunity to get this fixed is because I have work related healthcare for the first time.
I have had such shitty experiences with healthcare professionals my entire life. Pregnancy was horrible due to treatment I got as a bigger woman, school nurses were horrible and when I had a mental health crisis as a young adult it got labelled as anxieyty and depression, neither of which I have in hindsight. I was still kept on benzos for two decades which I eventually stopped using by myself because they were just making me feel so much worse.
Typically I don’t ever go to a doctor unless I am very ill, which has been thankfully rarely. But when I do go, it has always just been more or less shitty and often dangerous. I had a big invasive surgery long ago that completely went to shit, because nobody believed me that something was wrong after it. When I had to go in the ER as I started peeing blood from covid, they tried to pin that on my weight as well. And asked me if I drink, I don’t drink at all. When I went in to show a lump in my armpit (that is still there btw.) the doctor said it was just fat without looking at it and started to talk about how I would be a perfect candidate for their bariatric surgery study because I am so fit and it would give them good results. I was powerlifting competetively at the time and honestly not that fat. I could go on and on with these stories.
So now, after covid and me having some longcovid stuff I am supposed to just enter this maskless hospital and trust these people with using laser in my veins and believe that I am going to be just fine after. I have a really hard time trusting medicine these days because of the dismissive attitude to covid and the fascistic attitudes many in the field seem to have. I also feel like nobody knows what’s going on in the bodies of people like me who have longcovid symptoms and a vein procedure feels very risky, because no risk is being acknowledged (if that makes sense). I feel like patients are just statistics to these people and it worries me.
There, I just had to get this out somewhere. I am going to go, I can rationalize it, but god damn I did not expect to be this nervous about it.
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You did good getting an appointment having the insurance. I know that experiences with modern healthcare can suck but it’s also good that you’re taking care of yourself. Let your prior bad experiences make you assertive in what you want and what you don’t and everything will be great <3 keep us updated, we’ll be waiting for it!
It’s over, it was indeed a breeze. Now for the part that worries me most, the aftercare and hoping there are no complications.
Had the most wonderful young doctor, she was talkative, nice, empathetic and so was the whole team.
A few weeks of no heavy gym, but lots of walking. So I’m going to put on my Capital 1 audiobook and walk around in the nearby park for the rest of today.
Thanks so much for the solidarity.
Yoooo let’s gooooo!! I’m so glad you got a good doctor this time, those experiences are super valuable. Have a nice walk and enjoy that book! I can recommend listening to Paul Cockshott regarding the Labour Theory of Value, he has a few videos giving empirical 21st century evidence for it
Nice, I’ll have a look. I am doing a uni exam on Capital 1 and been reading it, listening to it and reading books on it. Definitely could still use more clarification on labor theory of value, not that I expect the uni teacher to be that well versed on any of it. But this is mostly for myself, I am trying to do Marxist research next and don’t feel like I am there yet to be able to do that.
Wish you the very best for tomorrow.
Thanks so much for the solidarity, it’s done. Now just waiting to see what the pain is like once the numbing wears off.
Valid, all valid, and I think everything would be so much better if they just listened to your concerns and cared - which should be a baseline expection in healthcare! - but it really does feel like covid plus the degrading neoliberal hell we live in means we just get what we get.
Continue to be brave, you did great to get this far already, it’s going to be worth it to get through everything!
I did it. Thanks so much for the solidarity.
Seems like things are getting a lot better compared to the last few decades. I had the most wonderful young doctor today and it was all very smooth and honestly interesting.
Now just hoping no complications show up and that it heals well.
Wonderful to hear!! I’m so glad it went well!!
Thank you for sharing your good news that makes my day <333
It was also super interesting and cool, the way it’s done. The nurse and doctor showed me all the bells and whistles that were used to treat the vein and it gave me all kinds of progress and science is so cool vibes.
