After 5 months, I guess I’ve fully cracked. Now I’m wondering about updating my professional website, that cesspool LinkedIn, etc.
I’m a Dev (yes, I use Arch) and I used to teach. I guess I’m nervous about having to tell my old students and coworkers.
I’d love to hear strategies, lessons learned, or anything that made the process smoother.
Yep, that was me too. Angry. The first thing those close to me noticed was mood changes.
So it helps? Because all consuming rage is just a baseline negative emotional state at this point and I don’t have any real happiness in my life. I’m kinda hoping that will change.
It helped me with exactly that
Yay! Even if that were the only thing it helped with, I’d still regard that as a massive win.
Same! My life went to shit right around puberty and I knew it but never really understood why, just that I always felt bad and didn’t before that. What actually cracked my egg for good was reading this list of symptoms of biochemical dysphoria and realizing that those are all of the reasons I spent 20 years getting high as often as possible. 6 months into HRT I went sober for a whole month for the first time in my adult life and it was easy! Estradiol has completely changed my life, jobs and relationships are easier to maintain and daily life is more enjoyable, also having tits is a lot cooler than I had imagined.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have felt a bit disconnected from the idea of doing it primarily for the physical changes (not that I mind those, of course). I have basically given this explanation to my relatives about why I am undertaking this, and it is validating to see people who have had the same experience. My surroundings do not express this as deeply as I do, as those people seem to be focused more on the appearance side of things. While I just do not deeply care that much.
I have felt like something was deeply wrong with me, and this explanation resonates. I just have been a whole lot happier since starting HRT. I stopped feeling like a ticking time bomb, that can not handle my social interactions, and I just feel right in the world. Puberty made me disconnected from myself and the world, I remembered crying to songs that sang about being disillusioned with my own self and my body. But I never really wanted it to hit, I knew for a while, but just felt like it would take a lot and that I wouldn’t be strong enough. But here I am, and it wasn’t as hard as I imagined after all.
Glad to! And happy to hear transitioning has made your life better too.
I can’t lie, I am looking forward to the tits.
Edit: Reading through the symptoms of biochemical dysphoria I realise I should have read through the symptoms of biochemical dysphoria 25 years ago.
I always assumed the idea of playing with ones own tits was some male gaze bullshit, I figured it would just not work in the same way as trying to tickle yourself, but thankfully I was wrong. It’s definitely not as good as having someone else play with my tits but it’s good enough that I am constantly doing it
I figured. I’m looking forward to the physical changes, but at the same time I’m not expecting miracles. Although I certainly wouldn’t mind having giant pillowy tits and what mos def so eloquently describes as “an ass so big you can see it from the front”.
Yes, exactly that.
Before HRT I felt either empty or angry, and little else. I was quick to anger from any minor frustration, my baseline emotion was very negative, and my sense of humor was worryingly self deprecating. At one point I achieved a lifelong goal and felt nothing, which concerned me greatly.
Since HRT that has all changed. I have emotional range. I feel things. I can regulate my emotions. I feel things correctly. HRT did that!