Lynee from Genshin Impact fan art: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/lyney--74872412550593991/
Image I was not able to trace to its origin: https://wallhaven.cc/w/2emr8x
Lynee from Genshin Impact fan art: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/lyney--74872412550593991/
Image I was not able to trace to its origin: https://wallhaven.cc/w/2emr8x
I kind of cannot imagine what I would look like. I would take all of those changes to a degree but I don’t hate my current looks. My head is still swinging with this question and every time I try to give up I just can’t. Estrogen makes me feel alive, pausing E made me feel like dying inside, and now I cry without knowing why.
That sounds like an important observation there
Your body’s telling you its answer - take your time deciding whether you agree <3
Would you like your looks less if you went on hrt full-time?
I feel like I should also mention that most changes from 6 weeks on hrt will completely reverse given enough time. You generally need several months to half a year for there to be irreversible changes.
My body is very sensitive to estrogen. The breast tissue I have is a real is a real tissue and not just water or fat.
So you wouldn’t be happy with breasts?
oh I would if I felt certain. If I could like right now permanently get easily bindable breasts I would take it. Personal and I like the feeling of rolling in bed and feeling the tissue kind of stretch. It’s a personal part of me making me feel fem, so I doubt I would dislike them if they got bigger but hideable. It’s really just that it’s permanent and my mood keeps swinging between certainty and self doubt. In one swing I inject E in another I destroyed my syringes as it was the only way to not take it during swings.
So your main concern not being able to hide the changes, not the changes themselves?
My main concerns are those that I have somehow gaslighted myself and that my emotions and memories are fake.
In science, you can only ever have reasonable certainty for any empirical test. There eventually comes a point where scientists determine that the result is good enough, and move on to test other things. Everything science has ever discovered is built on what is most likely to be true, not what they know for certain to be true.
It’s similar when understanding things about yourself. Your doubts won’t fully go away, only be minimized as you learn more about what you like. There won’t be a magic sign that tells you what you really want; no definitive proof that pushes away all doubts. You’ll eventually need to settle for a likely truth, not an unquestionable truth.
You can’t know for sure what you’ll look like post-transition, but you already know that estrogen will make you feel better in general. So really it’s just a question of what you value more, how you look or how you feel?