• TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    21 days ago

    I wouldn’t say I have more life experience, it’s just that I’ve learned to not beat myself up over social mistakes. I’ve literally never been socially “normal” thanks to my autism, so transitioning didn’t really make my level of awkwardness worse. Yes I wasn’t used to it and yes I make mistakes, but I’ve always been a weirdo so at least I’m a socially inept woman rather than a socially inept man.

    • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      21 days ago

      I’m a certified aspie, so for me it’s more like 50/50 normal vs awkward. Basically I have my shit together in a neurotypical fashion most days, and I’m absolutely devastated when my symptoms start displaying.

      That could be why I’m having trouble. I’m already used to the types of awkwardness you get from male circles. Idk. The question that floats around my mind is, “Since I have autism, am I able to truly understand the presentation aspect of gender?”

      • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        21 days ago

        “Since I have autism, am I able to truly understand the presentation aspect of gender?”

        You’ll probably have to learn them more explicitly than intuitively, like most social customs when you’re autistic. That doesn’t mean you won’t eventually figure things out, and it will probably be easier than learning male social norms. I still don’t fully understand men, while understanding women has been easier, even when I make mistakes.

        • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          21 days ago

          Yeah, I need to drop the whole “if it’s not perfect then why do it” attitude.

          This might be an invasive question, but would you care to share how long you’ve been on your journey? Not that I intend to disregard your advice, it can just be hard for me to tell the difference between experienced reassurance and fresh-faced optimism.

          • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            21 days ago

            I came out over two years ago and started HRT a year and a half ago. While I still lack a sense of fashion and am kinda depressed because of the state of the world, I have a passing voice and appearance for the most part (clothing is my big shortfall).