Ok that does it clear it up some. It is a fascinating way of looking at it like your example of not having the word for man. I’ve been trying to get a better grasp of the ideas of gender identity vs expression and to some extent I come back to the idea that gender as a thing is kind of bullshit. Like making little boxes with labels around stuff and behavior, you know? Just let people be, and don’t assign that they’re then allowed to ABC, and not allowed xyz.
I don’t mean it in any kind offensive way so I hope it doesn’t come across that way.
I don’t think I’d be able to explain my identity to other people if it wasn’t a gender. I tried understanding it for myself before I knew it was a gender and I missed a lot of important stuff. Knowing it to be a gender helps me understand it from so many more angles to make sense of my own behaviour and feelings in different situations. For example, I used to think I was asexual, and I couldn’t square that with the deeply sexual feelings I had when I mind melded with a swarmmate. It just didn’t make any sense. Then one word suddenly made sense of it all: gay. I’m gay. One word, and suddenly the logic of it all comes into focus. If I can’t understand it without it being a gender, then I doubt anyone else can.
Ok that does it clear it up some. It is a fascinating way of looking at it like your example of not having the word for man. I’ve been trying to get a better grasp of the ideas of gender identity vs expression and to some extent I come back to the idea that gender as a thing is kind of bullshit. Like making little boxes with labels around stuff and behavior, you know? Just let people be, and don’t assign that they’re then allowed to ABC, and not allowed xyz. I don’t mean it in any kind offensive way so I hope it doesn’t come across that way.
I don’t think I’d be able to explain my identity to other people if it wasn’t a gender. I tried understanding it for myself before I knew it was a gender and I missed a lot of important stuff. Knowing it to be a gender helps me understand it from so many more angles to make sense of my own behaviour and feelings in different situations. For example, I used to think I was asexual, and I couldn’t square that with the deeply sexual feelings I had when I mind melded with a swarmmate. It just didn’t make any sense. Then one word suddenly made sense of it all: gay. I’m gay. One word, and suddenly the logic of it all comes into focus. If I can’t understand it without it being a gender, then I doubt anyone else can.
Yeah, fair. It does provide a neat little package of certain attributes you likely have. I guess I was thinking more of the angle of enforcing roles.