Our demands

  1. Return the site’s moderation practice to it’s former, libs-banned-on-site glory. Move forward to a new, glorious form of banning theory inspired by TC69 thought, while learning from it’s mistakes, and listening to neurodivergent comrades
  2. Reinvigorate the heart of this site’s community, c/furry
  3. Remove r*ddit karma
      • Finger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        the attitude of “ban anything that even remotely sniffs of liberalism” did lead to an incident where TC69 banned a user for a small misunderstanding, then doubled down and re-banned the user with no explaination after the other admins unbanned them, and then basically the entire c/neurodiverse mod team quit the site because or that.

        hugely problematic behavior from a site admin. an unapologetic “everyone with a bad take or who ever upsets a frequent user deserves to be banned” is lazy moderating and hurts ND people

        edit: fuck i posted from the bit account by accident

        • WithoutFurtherDelay [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          1 year ago

          Oh, that’s what happened. Holy shit, I’ve been confused about what happened to the mod team for literally years. Were some of the c/furry mods part of that exodus? I remember some of them leaving

          No: more half measures Walter

          • BadTakesHaver [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            Some of them were definitely on the c/furry mod team. Reason that mod team kinda just dissapeared without saying anything is because the incident was about “im leaving” callout posts, which led to the ban of “im leaving” posts in general, and the modteam (if i can recall) was too alienated and sad to really fight anymore about it. Hoping for a revival of that comm soon

                • WithoutFurtherDelay [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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                  1 year ago

                  This is my point, though. “Shit stirring” isn’t an issue unless issues haven’t actually been fully resolved (or it’s someone repeating something blatantly offensive on purpose). If something has been generally processed and come to a conclusion as a community, someone trying to bring it back up again would just be rightfully dismissed. I feel like it’s a red flag when a community has to crack down on discussions about itself. It has the same vibe as people refusing to communicate in a relationship because they don’t want to cause issues.

                  Plus the stated reason, that being that nobody cares if you leave, is just flat out wrong. People get attached to individual users and while it isn’t the healthiest it’s weird to try and ignore that instead of addressing it directly

                  • Well I’d rather not have a struggle session every time someone decides to leave. We have enough struggle sessions. If people want to resolve issues, the time to do it is as a participant in the community, not as a parting shot

                  • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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                    1 year ago

                    Shit stirring is an issue though if you’re an admin that bans anyone disagreeing with the shit you’re stirring, and you ban them for being “transphobes” or “reactionaries” despite being neither. There was a time period where you couldn’t even criticize or disagree with her without getting banned for being reactionairy. If you do that then you also make it impossible to actually resolve the conflict.
                    I think a lot of stuff wouldn’t have been sitewide conflicts if it hadn’t been for her picking a side and then banning those on the other side for being “reactionairy”. It made any resolution impossible because discussion was impossible.
                    I got called a

                    cw:sa

                    rapist

                    for drinking milk. I didn’t respond, but another user did. They pointed out that such an accusation was a bit much. They got banned for being reactionairy.

                    Edit: if this gets removed for misinformation I’d sincerely and in good faith like to ask for an explanation on what that misinfo is.

        • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          isnt “they” is what people use when they don’t know the gender? I use it all the time in help desk tickets since many names i couldn’t guess the gender. ive been on this site too much and never seen someone be miffed about using “they.”

          • YearOfTheCommieDesktop [they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            yeah but it also becomes the liberal’s version of misgendering for people who don’t 100% pass or who a lib just wants to be shitty to. It’s simply misgendering but with plausible deniability in many cases, so people on here (where basically everyone has pronouns listed) get a little touchy about it since there’s kinda no excuse at that point

            • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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              1 year ago

              yes, how dare that person(who commented above) not click the profile link and check out what a long inactive and once problematic admin preferred, instead of defaulting to “i don’t know.” What an egregious crime.

              Let’s not be a parody of ourselves. It’s important to read a persons intent and not just their words.(which sounds like me being a lib, but it’s the internet. youre reading words without any tone or emotion so you have to process it differently)

              • YearOfTheCommieDesktop [they/them]@hexbear.net
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                1 year ago

                Good thing I didn’t say that shrug-outta-hecks

                I’m not saying crucify them, geez, I’m just explaining why it’s sometimes touchy despite generally being “the default when you don’t know”. That user is talking about how they were around at the time and knew her/were driven away by her, so idk, it’s not 100% unreasonable, esp considering gender figures heavily in her username, but it’s also almost certainly a misunderstanding. Still, no reason to be hostile to a minor correction either. It’s fine.

                • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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                  1 year ago

                  lotta liberals out there using “they” in an aggressive way? sure if you say so. In my experience liberals arent smart enough to know how to use the word “they” properly.

                  • TankieCatgirl [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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                    1 year ago

                    I’ve had it done to me before I started using she/they with the intent of refusing to accept that I’m a “real woman”. It tends to be used as a way to refuse to use someone’s correct pronouns, and instead handwave their identity as unimportant, but the lib still gets to feel progressive. Imo it’s only proper to use they/them as a default when you have no way of knowing someone’s pronouns.

                  • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                    1 year ago

                    oh it absolutely happens. i know a dude who self-ids as strictly gay but is dating a pre-everything trans woman and exclusively refers to her with they/them pronouns. just as a fun example.

                    just bc you haven’t encountered a behavior doesn’t make it imaginary, and this one is harmful to trans people.

              • raven [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                1 year ago

                The addition of the “and once problematic” bit makes it sound like you’re suggesting that she deserves to be misgendered some amount because you don’t respect her. I don’t expect that’s what you meant but you might want to change that wording.

            • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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              1 year ago

              i didnt think i was crazy there. plus she was responding to Infamousblt, a 3 year user. So im gonna go ahead and doubt that person is some awful transphobe. I guess milistanaccount09 also should have also checked a profile huh?

              • D61 [any]@hexbear.net
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                1 year ago

                I dunno, if this were some long in depth conversation about another person, sure. We could do more diligence and stuff but this isn’t one of those conversations so it seems okay to use more generic pronouns should be acceptible.

                Maybe it helps one of the last conversations I had with them before their final logout was after a book club reading of Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue and they were feeling that they might be a bit more fluid than they had previously thought.

          • milistanaccount09 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            There’s a tendency among people in general to misgender trans women and specifically trans women by referring to them with singular ‘they’ despite the fact that other pronouns are clearly listed at the top of their profiles. I had actually been reading a few posts on a different site today by trans women I know being affected by this same phenomenon, which was one of the reasons I was particularly peeved.

            I think that in the digital era it’s very inexcusable to get the wrong pronouns for someone: you’re always just one or two mouse clicks away from knowing someone’s pronouns (since they’re always in someone’s profile 99% of the time). I understand that you might not have meant anything by it! I myself was affected by a bunch of internalized transmisogyny brainworms for some time

            • WithoutFurtherDelay [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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              1 year ago

              This is very much necroposting but, While I agree with you and agree that it’s a phenomenon, there are lots of issues with the idea that someone is just “one or two mouse clicks away”, namely:

              • someone could just have forgotten to do it or not noticed it
              • people’s pronouns on their bios can actually be wrong sometimes, if they’re worried about coming out or simply forgot to update it (rare, I know)
              • I just don’t like the idea of blaming someone or assuming they’re being transphobic because of something that could be explained by forgetfulness, being rushed, etc

              On the other hand, if someone is corrected due to using “they” because they forgot to check a bio, and then continued to use they despite being corrected, yeah it’s inexcusable

              • milistanaccount09 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                1 year ago

                I don’t mind the necropost :) I actually just posted about this again like yesterday so I didn’t even realize you were responding to my old comment!

                Anyways I understand your concerns and I’ve formulated my opinion based on those facts (but honestly bullet point #2 is pretty silly: in that case it’s pretty clearly on the onus of the person being gendered to update their pronouns).

                I get that it is a shame because yeah people can be wrong but I feel like it’s a bit of a case of weaponized incompetence: ‘oh I didn’t know saying that was offensive so I’m under no obligation to actually watch what I’m saying.’

                Additionally ofc your argument doesn’t address the root problem which is why I’m concerned about this issue: people At Large tend to misgender trans women by calling them “they.” I think it’s more important to adopt a culture that pressures people into making sure they’re gendering people correctly than to allow offensive speech (which misgendering is) to persist.

          • Cummunism [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            what milistanaccount09 said was bananas and sounds like TC69 thought. milistanaccount09 is a 2 month old user, and you and D61 are here 3 years so i dont think youre transphobes. milistanaccount09 should have clicked your profile link and figured out the intent instead of going rabid.