He can’t even make cars anymore. You can’t make this shit up!
I never noticed this before, but does that thing explode a water bottle when the hand gets put down, like before it even falls? That seems like a dangerous amount of force/pressure to apply without any failsafes or anything.
Yeah I was noticing the same thing.
I mean this thing is supposed to only weigh 26kg and they are saying this model weighs closer to 57kg which I think is still them lying to make it seem like they can get to that ridiculous weight.
I work with robotics and the rule is to never be near them while they are moving cause they won’t know or care if they have to cut you in half to keep moving, I don’t think this is gonna do that but it disconnecting randomly while near a person makes this a really dangerous heavy chunk of metal and seizing motors.
I know this won’t affect the stock price (which will keep pumping anyway), but who’s going to buy the robots? There’ll be some enthusiasts sure, but most people actually need cars and will take out a loan to get these. The people that actually need these robots (assuming they even worked in the first place) would be people that need help around the house, and realistically most of them can’t afford this thing. So do we see a repeat of the parking lots filled with cyber trucks, but with robots instead? Or do they just give them out to influencers and con enough rich assholes into buying them to make it work (probably not gonna happen lol).
There’s no way Tesla robots will ever be good enough to do anything useful like house chores or whatever. MAYBE if he sells them with a subscription and it’s actually just some dude in East Asia controlling the robot. But then most people wouldn’t want them because now you’re paying random servants from around the world to hop into your house to serve you.
Actually as I was typing this I realized that is exactly the kind of disgusting bullshit that Tesla owners would love. “Oh yes see it’s not slavery because these people get to stay in their country and their homes and make a wage to be my servant! That means I’m fueling underserved economies! I’m saving the world with my Tesla Servant! Global economics! Together Musk is lifting people out of poverty!”
Fuck these are going to be wildly successful for all the wrong reasons aren’t they.
Oh yeah to be clear I don’t think they’ll work autonomously either. But you’re 100% right that all the wrong people are going to be able to pay Elon a monthly fee to have a servant from another country around the house.
Spending $100k to buy a surveillance robot servant remotely piloted by a child in Bangladesh is simply the price one must pay to not allow a poor into one’s house. If you saw the documentary Parasite, you’d know why we must take these security measures
Why don’t they put the children inside the robot and just have it shock them if they disobey?
Plausible deniability
Humanoid robots are a scam to inflate stock prices.
for more info I’ll refer to
this: A skeptic’s guide to humanoid-robot videos | MIT Technology Review
and this: The Automation Trap: What Robots Are Really Selling
just like all the other scams to inflate stock prices
if only people would remember valuation ≠ value more often 😮💨
The robots will be used for military purposes since the $1 trillion budget has to go somewhere.
idk, The Market is not looking pleased at the moment, at least in the short term.
The market will come around once Tesla announces that the robots will have a pussy.
Black Mirror episode where “Pesla” announces a sexbot but it can’t nail the AI so they have to hire out of work software engineers to operate the bots with VR rigs.
The robot you’ve bought is actually just a guy in a costume.
That’s probably something that could get some VC funding with a hip name and an app.
Is that gay?
depends on what the costume is
That says so much about society.
The Dawn of the Furries is at hand!
pussy
Yet another subject where I have zero faith in Musk’s knowledge or experience
If we all gave ourselves the Men-In-Black mind eraser flash he’d be the first to use science and logic to re-invent guys who think the female orgasm is a myth, starting with himself.
Huge lots full of inert robots is pretty peak cyberpunk. I doubt these things could hold a gun, so I expect there’ll just be a high density explosive module (with recurring subscription) and they’ll use them as shock troops for riot dispersal.
Rich people import foreign workers to be their hyper-exploited social reproduction labourers. If all the foreign workers that do their social reproduction for them are being deported by ICE, they will need robots. (This assumes the robots will ever function, which they won’t, or that they are intended to function someday, which they aren’t)
the deported people can control the “robots” from CECOT
At least you can’t get trapped inside a robot while you burn to death.
Florida Man was found dead under a MuskBot after excessive lube during apparent sex act attempt with it caused a short and fire.
Made me think of futurama too lol
Gundam Music Blasting
Title card: “Trapped Inside a Robot while you Burn to Death?!?! No way!”
Boston dynamics has been trying for like 3 decades and their shit still sucks. Elon is gonna succeed in his robotics speed run tho, no doubt.
Define “sucks”? Their stuff’s pretty cool from what I’ve seen.
Tesla is betting on a multipurpose humanoid robots. That is the main problem here, it is difficult to make just a single robot that can do everything, instead of a line of different robots for very specific use cases.
This is like. Fucking impossible.
“Tesla will have one million Robotaxis on the road by the end of 2020”
[edit]
“Musk admits no Optimus robots are doing ‘useful work’ at Tesla — after claiming otherwise”
He says that $TSLA’s Optimus is going to be produced ‘later this year’, however later admitted its still only in the R&D phase…
I’m just being hyperbolic and sarcastic.
Dunno about the rest of the US but California’s uses car market is absolutely flooded with Model S’. I see first gen ones listed for under 10k. Compare to any other model EV of the same year and entry price and there will be about ten Teslas per other manufacturer. That can’t be because they are exceptionally high quality, long lasting vehicles.
I would be so afraid of buying a used EV and its battery just being fucked
It’s easier to check battery health than engine compression nowadays
literally, an EV will tell you a range estimate based on current charge level (and include ambient/battery temperature in that estimate, maybe even recent terrain/driving behavior).
Teslas are known to lie though
I don’t even know what engine compression is
the piston seals in the cylinders of an ICE car should be (nearly?) air tight. As the car is used the pistons/seals wear down reducing engine performance and efficiency. It can get so bad that the car won’t even run, I once test drove a car that started fine but would die at idle speed when warm. It’s very expensive to fix, most cars are probably scrap at that point.
special diagnostic tools are needed to get that information from an ICE, whereas an EV will, at the very least, display right on the dash"fully charged : x miles"
I’m not sure if there’s hard data on whether engines or batteries generally last longer though, cuz a modern engine will get to 200k miles before it needs to rebuild. But batteries don’t care about miles so much as charge cycles - but your main point about it being very easy to check is true, since you just measure the voltage coming off the battery, how quickly it changes, etc which doesn’t require any disassembly and on most EVs there will be a diagnostic option to run a fairly accurate self test.
edit: I later looked this up and found that modern EV battery life is equivalent to about 300k miles of driving, and even if you treat it like shit it’ll still beat an engine, generally speaking. EV electric motors last about as long, so assuming there isn’t a manufacturing defect/crash damage, any EV drivetrain from the past decade is probably good.
more compression makes your car faster and more fuel efficient, but requires better gas and makes everything hotter.
After Muskrat’s heil-spree, a lot of them went up for sale around here too. I’m not saying they aren’t garbage-built death traps either, just that there are multiple contributing factors to people wanting to be rid of their Tesla.
i am literally holding on to my 5-speed manual civic until the thing physically falls apart. why anyone would pay 40-70k for a new car full of useless electronic components and a single ineffective touch screen UI is beyond all comprehension to me
poor people based old gen commuter car gang stay winning
“I mean, why would you ever want to actually go anywhere when you have access to unlimited illegal porn and a fuck-bot?”(in case it’s unclear, I intend this with maximum scorn and derision for Musk)
Every day more convinced that Grok is a play to create an Epstein black book containing only Elon Musk fans. It is 2028 and the most powerful voting bloc in the US is “people with some shit in their Grok transcripts”.
presumably other swastikars will continue production
I already wrote this on the other thread, but it’s because people aren’t buying the S and X. They were like 3% of Tesla sales last year. He kept them going for 10 years longer than he should have just so he could have Tesla models S, 3, X and Y.
I would love to say “please, tell me you are joking”, but I am the Joker now so I know you aren’t.
The 3 and Y are roughly $40k and are somewhat usable cars for that price range (if you exclude Chinese EVs), hence people buying them. The S and X are “luxury” and start at roughly 100k. Elon stans either don’t have 100k, already owned one of these, or are aiming for a cybertruck.
Oh, I just meant the incredibly sad S3XY thing. The economics of the world’s first fully automated family annihilator are at least explicable. 😄
The fate of the Cybertruck is unknown. Last quarter, SpaceX and xAI bought a bunch of them, but I don’t think they can keep doing this forever. The battery supplier for the CT battery already wrote down their investment by 99%. Meanwhile, Tesla just keeps pretending like nothing is wrong.
Fucking
There’s only one Optimus. Me!
Getting an Optimus just to give me piggybacks everywhere
I like how he’s never going to release a bipedal Jeeves robot but the news has to report on it like it’s a thing. He’s not pivoting to shit. He’s pivoting to more testosterone treatments. None of these robots are doing shit. They aren’t going to mars. He’s just going to do drugs and post about white South African genocide. Report that. At least include these verifiable facts while writing the rest of the article. Just go pluck something from the last 24 hours of his timeline, he’ll have said something stupid or odious in that time. Probably more than once so you can pick. It would be funny at least.
He’s going to replace his workers with these robots. He’ll have robots to make robots to make cars to sell to robots. 5d chess move.
“Optimus-Prime Subscription”
