People spend their whole lives trying to prove to the machine that they aren’t a burden, so that they aren’t next on the chopping block. If they have a problem with that, well “it’s up to you to deal with that.”
So everyone has to perform. Constantly. We all need to prove we are an irreplaceable asset or we’ll end up on the street. “I am my best self. I am useful. I have marketable skills. I am calm and collected. Because I can’t trust anyone to support me but me.” That’s hustle culture in a nutshell, isn’t it? But can people (especially those who aren’t sheltered by wealth) really live like that all the time? Especially in the face of a world full of problems that a positive attitude alone can’t solve? With the constant pressure to wear the skinsuit of a perfect asset even if the world is burning around them? Isn’t it obvious that it would make everyone so tired?
To top it off, when the inevitable happens, and people crumble under the weight of the mask and and all their fear and anxiety explodes out of them, often the world will give them the exact response they feared. Confusion at the sudden collapse followed by “Well I guess they weren’t strong enough to handle it. Not my problem.” or at best a “Let’s get that mask back on.”
I will give myself this. I never backed down and kept it up and still do. Suffering in silence just leads to further suffering, fuck that noise. Once my parents got their heads around me they’ve been cool af but maaaaaaan did we fight hard when I was younger. They adjusted to life in this hellscspe so naturally. My mom only ever had one job from age 19 to retirement. My dad worked around a lot when I was young but eventually got a sick union gig with the post office. Once moved out and all that and they stsrted seeing how high rent was and how little wages had increased and high school people I knew graduating with degrees and working the same kitchen jobs as me, they noticed how much worse things are and gained a lot of sympathy for my perspective.
But yeah, as a kid id get that all the time, it was dismissing my feelings and I knew it and would often call it out and then there would be a whole fight and my mom would cry so she could win. She eventually cut that manipulative shit out, and my dad intervened regsading it. I think its mostly cause I stopped feeling bad when it happened and we would hit a reallt uncomfortable for him stalemate. We had some harsh times. Im in my 30s and like both of em a lot now and a big part is that we have gotten comfortable with the fact that we are fundamentally different. Things oddly chilled out when I becsme a teenager, I think they figured out that I was gonna do and say what I wanted and they’d be better off encouraging it towards the best direction possible and not opposing it entirely, which was a reslly smart move on their part or id totally be dead from an OD by now