By the way this is the second time this has happend.
You know it sucks because I have been feeling suicidal lately and I’ve been seriously thinking about it. This just makes me want to let go even more.
Fuck the world, Fuck people like this. I don’t even feel safe walking outside because I might get attacked or harassed by some right wing asshole who hates me because of who I am. What the fuck is happening. Why do I deserve this? Why? Why? Why?!! I’ve been crying about this soo much my throat is raw and I can barely cry anymore. It’s so unfair. Just because I was born a boy people treat me so horribly. People want to kill me. People want me to die. Well I want to die. I would rather die than live in a world like this. Fuck me, fuck my life. I wish I was never fucking born. FUUUUUCK!
Edit: I’m going to go cry quietly under my bed, it’s the place I feel safest right now.
Update: Thank you for everyone who commented with support. I feel slightly better. At least in regards to what happened. These are hard times and it’s hard not to feel hopeless from what I’ve seen and heard IRL but at the very least you all have made me feel like it might be worth it to try. I hope there will one day be a day when people like us don’t face such hell just for existing.
Well, those who scream about predators the loudest probably are the scummiest ones themselves. Every accusation is a confession, as I say. You are not one at all and you did well. You are a good person. that said; your safety is your first priority, so whatever help, helps.
If you go to areas with people, it might help to go with someone you know and trust (to not snitch on you either). Seek out queer defense groups. Learn Krav Maga, carry pepper/bear spray with you in a bag. Walk in well-lit areas and be somewhat near crowds with people that seem ‘tolerant’, know how to get to a safe place.