By the way this is the second time this has happend.

You know it sucks because I have been feeling suicidal lately and I’ve been seriously thinking about it. This just makes me want to let go even more.

Fuck the world, Fuck people like this. I don’t even feel safe walking outside because I might get attacked or harassed by some right wing asshole who hates me because of who I am. What the fuck is happening. Why do I deserve this? Why? Why? Why?!! I’ve been crying about this soo much my throat is raw and I can barely cry anymore. It’s so unfair. Just because I was born a boy people treat me so horribly. People want to kill me. People want me to die. Well I want to die. I would rather die than live in a world like this. Fuck me, fuck my life. I wish I was never fucking born. FUUUUUCK!

Edit: I’m going to go cry quietly under my bed, it’s the place I feel safest right now.

Update: Thank you for everyone who commented with support. I feel slightly better. At least in regards to what happened. These are hard times and it’s hard not to feel hopeless from what I’ve seen and heard IRL but at the very least you all have made me feel like it might be worth it to try. I hope there will one day be a day when people like us don’t face such hell just for existing.

  • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.comEnglish
    1·
    6 days ago

    We wouldn’t deny a diabetic insulin because we think they would benefit from therapy, and we might think a doctor who does that should have their license revoked.

    Yeah. Was thinking medical malpractice already describes people who try to deny people access to HRT because reading:

    I didn’t end up getting a therapist, at the end of the session he revealed that I had “earned” my estrogen prescription … He was also really creepy and spent a lot of time touching his stethoscope to my breasts, but at an angle where it wouldn’t help him actually listen to anything - really bizarre (no doctor has ever done this or “used” a stethoscope that way), and after he seemed to finish the exam, he then he went back to my breasts again.

    There was a lot that happened in that session. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sexually preyed on his patients, and it seemed like some of his behavior was similar to sexual grooming I have witnessed in the past (like guilting me into sitting closer to him, and telling me he was treating me nice because I was being nice to him, etc.).

    WTF? I don’t think I’ve had a doctor touch my breasts with a stethoscope (granted, I’ve only had one visit since having them where that would have been a concern). I wonder how often doctors take advantage of their positions to be able to do things like this…

    • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      2·
      6 days ago

      He’s been doing this since the 1990s, imagine being one of his first patients, how few alternatives there were then … he also mentioned he doesn’t let his patients administer their own HRT, he requires they come into the office and pull down their pants for him to inject the shots into their butt … I’m just thinking he’s already so creepy and there are so many red flags - how likely is it that he isn’t exploiting that? I left that office literally shaking, and I was emotionally wrecked for days after that. It’s like I had stepped several decades into the past.

      And I’ve always had doctors place their stethoscope on my chest, and it wasn’t the location that was weird per se, he placed the stethoscope between the breasts like normal, but obviously it still touches them and what was weird was the way he did it multiple times and without seeming to actually use the stethoscope in a way that would imply he was using it to listen - i.e. it was cocked at an angle where it wasn’t flush against my clothes or skin, just open to the air.

      Before he started the exam, he announced that there is a physical exam but he won’t require me to remove clothes - I’ve never had a doctor say it that way, and it felt like another “groomer” moment where I felt like he was trying to make me more comfortable so he could slowly introduce more and more inappropriate behavior without protest.