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If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
I understand what you are saying, I understand that enanthate takes a while to achieve stable levels so my plan is to give it 2-3 months so I can see if its something that would help. My dysphoria is almost entirely biochemical so my thought is that my symptoms are either actually due to dysphoria in which case I should see some improvement in my mood after a few months or my symptoms are something entirely different in which case I would expect it to make me feel significantly worse after a few months. But I don’t want to go ordering multiple vials only to be stuck with them and noone to give them to, because as previously stated, I’m completely friendless at the moment.
As far as experience home-brewing I don’t have any yet, just a lot of general lab experience. I’ve skimmed the instructions on one of the DIY websites and it all seems pretty simple. If I end up actually going through with home-brewing I’ll make a step by step video and upload it somewhere. That information will become very important in the next few years. I certainly wouldn’t go selling vials unless I was extremely comfortable with the procedure and had third party testing and proper equipment (proper laminar flow fume cabinet, autoclave etc instead of oven extractor fan and instant pot).