1. You can learn to control it. You know in Red Dead Redemption 2 where you capture a wild horse, and you have a sort of minigame where you have to move the controller about to stay on the horse, and if you stay on the horse long enough, the horse is tamed? Basically it’s like that, except the mini game lasts 20 years.

2. Fill your blood with nicotine, caffeine and other stimulants, let the nicotine flow through you. Use your super-powers of focus and attention to complete your task. Warning: Nicotine Delivery Methods May Cause Unwanted Complications and Health Problems.

3. Find someone with similar issues and agree to do something like Body Doubling (wiki link)

4. If possible, go and work in a different space, and only bring the objects needed for the work. i.e. a quiet library, cafe, friend’s house, hireable hotdesking space. Don’t sit in your own house, because every room and every surface is probably a “to-do list” of things you haven’t got round to doing.

5. Pretend the task doesn’t exist and ignore it and hope it goes away. If the task doesn’t go away, stay awake all night and complete it at the last minute in a panic.

6. Find an even more complicated and difficult task to do, then procrastinate from doing that task, by doing your original task. Note that, like the “Very Hungry Caterpillar” or “Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly”, you may have to constantly increase the size and complexity of the larger tasks you’re using to procrastinate yourself onto the smaller tasks. Eventually, this doesn’t end well. You do not turn into a beautiful butterfly.

7. If it’s a written task, just write down something, anything - stupid and deliberately wrong, funny if possible. Enjoy yourself writing gibberish for 5 minutes. Now go back and edit it. You’re writing now - just change all the wrong words into right words. Starting the task, however wrongly, weirdly can get the task started. Absolutely make sure you double check your text when you finish, then triple check it. There’s a risk of leaving a sentence of your original gibberish in there. The same mentality works with other stuff - need to paint a room in your house? Pick up the paint and a brush, and giggling, go and paint a giant cock-and-balls on the wall… now paint over the cock-and-balls… okay, you may as well finish the rest of the wall now. Need to hoover up? Get something powdered and use it to draw a cock-and-balls in powder on the floor. Oops! Better go and hoover up that rude drawing! Whilst you’ve got the hoover out, you may as well finish hoovering the room you’re in. Make sure you know the substance can definitely be hoovered up.

8. Have 2 “to-do” lists. Have the one with thousands of things on it, that you will never get round to doing, then a smaller one which is only allowed 5-10 things on it, for today. If possible, break the tasks down as small as possible, and give yourself lots of opportunities to tick/check things off the list. E.g. for a written task:

• write a single character
• write a single word
• write a single sentence
• write a single paragraph
• write a single page
• write as much as you can until you are distracted. When you get distracted, start the list again. You only need to write a single character.

9. Decide you’re not going to do the task. You’re instead going to ask a friend/relative/colleague to do it. Unfortunately, they are stupid. Spend 10 minutes writing out a list of exactly what needs to be done, in order, so it’s so obvious, a stupid person can follow it. Tricked yourself! The list is for you. Follow the instructions - the task is actually simple - look at the list - a stupid person could do it.

10. Don’t try and do the whole task. Just set an alarm for 5 minutes, and then just do five minutes of it. You can do five minutes. No need to worry about doing the whole thing. Do 5 minutes of the task, switch your alarm off. You’re already doing the task, so… maybe you could carry on for a bit…

[Edit] These are mostly focused in written work i.e. essays, homework, accountd, invoices, tax returns, press releases, programming etc - but many can be adapted for practical tasks or difficult things like “phone the doctor”.

The main elements are lying to yourself, tricking yourself, and forcing yourself to do a tiny, very easy amount of the task, so you find yourself, tools in hand, already working on it. The secondary elements are using the support of other people and a change of scenery. Tertiary elements are filling your body with drugs, fear, guilt and panic.

Wait till you learn about avif or jpegxl images!

For real though webp is a nice upgrade over png. Smaller and faster to load. I don’t get the hate.

I randomly stumble upon your text again. I have a moral dilemma about your text: respond or has it been too long to respond. I go on with my day. I forget about your text. Rinse and repeat randomly another time.

i haven’t programmed privately for month now, because i need to first set neovim up perfectly and it is never perfect ;w;

yeah, probably

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Pathological Display of Affection

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Public Display of Affection? I don’t really get it in this context.

Given the context, I imagine this shitpost is from The Before Time™️, when Palm Pilots and Apple Newtons roamed the earth