I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn’t say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it’s healed for over a month and it hasn’t gone away. It’s gotten worse! I feel like I’m broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn’t fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.
Don’t tell me that I don’t regret it and that regret is rare. This isn’t the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don’t regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.
I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I’ll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.
Sorry to year your experience with your bottom surgery and attempts at getting support in the past have gone poorly. From what I’ve seen in the past, lemmy trans spaces tend to be better than that.
I don’t really have any advice unfortunately. It seems like its difficult to try to get a phalloplasty after having a vaginoplasty; even if you can find a surgeon who is willing to try, there’s higher risks from my understanding and you may have to do a lot of self-advocating to get the surgeon to be willing to try.
Not exactly what aspects you miss about it, but would a packer potentially help? Seems like it would be worth a try?
I hope you can find some peace regardless of what it takes.
Removed by mod
I’ve removed this comment because it was negative about phalloplasty in a way that isn’'t appropriate in a trans community. I’ll be happy to restore the post if you can reword your comment in a way that considers the impact your words may have on folk who want or need phalloplasty.