The channel where she livestreamed her self-immolation was called “lillyanarkitty” which feels relevant? Like she might not have been OUT-out but she wasn’t really hiding it either.
I definitely used girl-coded screen names before I even admitted to myself that I was trans, and choosing to post under the name “Lilly” is important. But the final statement seems relevant too. “My name is Aaron” can’t be ignored or forgotten.
But then again, looking at that final statement, there was the use of the phrase “I am an active duty member of the United States Air Force” instead of “airman”. All the reporting says “airman” but, in those final words, that’s not what was actually said.
Then there’s the final post “Many of us like to ask ourselves “What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?” What if the answer to that question is “remain closeted so my final political act remains focused on Palestine”? Was this a choice to be remembered as a man made out of worry that anything else would be a distraction from the protest action? It’s possible. Was the video posted under “lillyanarkitty” as a silent scream to not be remembered as just a man? Was it a non-binary choice, to be remembered as both Aaron and Lilly in their last moments?
I don’t think I feel comfortable making any definitive choice. So, I avoid gendering as much as possible.
The channel where she livestreamed her self-immolation was called “lillyanarkitty” which feels relevant? Like she might not have been OUT-out but she wasn’t really hiding it either.
I definitely used girl-coded screen names before I even admitted to myself that I was trans, and choosing to post under the name “Lilly” is important. But the final statement seems relevant too. “My name is Aaron” can’t be ignored or forgotten.
But then again, looking at that final statement, there was the use of the phrase “I am an active duty member of the United States Air Force” instead of “airman”. All the reporting says “airman” but, in those final words, that’s not what was actually said.
Then there’s the final post “Many of us like to ask ourselves “What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?” What if the answer to that question is “remain closeted so my final political act remains focused on Palestine”? Was this a choice to be remembered as a man made out of worry that anything else would be a distraction from the protest action? It’s possible. Was the video posted under “lillyanarkitty” as a silent scream to not be remembered as just a man? Was it a non-binary choice, to be remembered as both Aaron and Lilly in their last moments?
I don’t think I feel comfortable making any definitive choice. So, I avoid gendering as much as possible.
Wow, that’s incredibly detailed and thoughtful thank you very much.